Introduction

[akkpinc]

Hello

I am currently married to a women diagnosed with Borderline Personality Disorder. She is currently in treatment and I support that. I helped her discover the real issue she is dealing with as she has been misdiagnosed, I believe,( or also has other problems) in the past. One of the biggest problems I have with her previous diagnosis's is that the only treatment she accepted is prescription medications- this has been going long before I met her and is pushed by her mother who also has several mental health issues.  The entire time I have been involved with this women she has been seeing Doctors (including Psychiatrists) and often changing her medications. I have not been involved in these decisions generally but I discover that her Mother always is. Recently, she had a seizure at work. After an emergency room visit I went with her to her primary care Doctor, she got an MRI, and of course, off to the neurologist's office. After listening to these experts I think she realized (as they and I have been saying for years ) that she is over medicated and that is the most likely cause of the siezure. As she is now on a new path to work on her issues in a healthy way I am now turning my focus to my self and my happiness. I am seeking assistance and support in becoming Healthy and Happy after a 20 year rollercoaster. Thanks In advance!

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PLEASE - NO RUN MESSAGES This is a high level discussion board for solving ongoing, day-to-day relationship conflicts. Members may appear frustrated but they are here for constructive solutions to problems. This is not a place for relationship "stay" or "leave" discussions. Please read the specific guidelines for this group.

[Harley Quinn]

Hi akkpinc and Welcome! 

It's wonderful that you found the site as you are in the right place for support here.  Also that you were able to post some good news regards progress, which can be a long worked for outcome.  It's very unfortunate that your wife had the seizure, however I'm really glad that things have improved following this in that she is getting proper medical attention now and willing to take the suggested route to dealing with things in a more constructive way for her long term benefit.  This must feel like a real milestone for you and I'm sure a weight has lifted. 

I'm also delighted to hear that you are looking to now make improvements for your own well being.  This is so important.  It takes a great deal of strength and energy to be in a r/s with a pwBPD so it's a really healthy decision to begin to focus on you.  Could you tell us a little about how her traits are demonstrated within your r/s and the impacts for yourself? 

The lessons to the right of the page here are extremely valuable in helping us to learn how to better manage communication and reduce tensions in the r/s, so I'd encourage you to take a good read, whilst also having a look at other posts.  It helps to know we're not alone.  You may find that a change in your focus requires the setting of some boundaries so that you can create the time and space that you need for your own needs.  How do you find you do with this?  It's something I personally am still working on in my own life.  I find the articles here help a great deal.  Here's one to get you started if you too find this hard:

https://bpdfamily.com/content/setting-boundaries

I hope this helps you in achieving your aims towards health and happiness.  I'm sure you'll get some great suggestions from other members.  One thing I began to do was to pick up things I'd let fall by the wayside and also to incorporate things I'd aspired to but never managed to start.  Turning your attention to yourself has so many benefits and I hope you quickly begin to feel these in yourself.  Keep us posted!

Love and light x