Hi everyone - I'm back again... .
Ive done it. Finally after such a long time of misery, Ive finally had enough... .iam at the end of my tether... .in fact to quote some comedian... .the tether is no more... .
I'm the fool that thought it would work out, you may remember me... . Well I'm sure weve all been there! but after 36 months of sheer hell, I'm out.
Story so far: Had to take a week off work due to intense stress, I'm on anti depressants, beta blockers, started smoking again, my really good job has been in jeopardy (I had to have 1 to 1 with my boss and tell him that I'm on medication because of all this... .that's embarrassing) ... and for what? my desperate misguided need for love? Knickers to that. Ive got 3 amazing kids that I adore and they adore me... .(and their mum is a good woman) what have I been doing? This is just crazy. I'm annoyed with myself to have gotten swept away with this crazy exBPDgf... . I mean, how little do I think of myself, to have allowed this... .? Ive got a perforated eardrum that hasn't healed in a year after one of her rages... .I mean what the heck? All the drinking through the day... .not working... .Wow Ive had enough... .
Just want to share my final, utter final texts I sent
I don't know if these are the right texts to send ur, whatever she was, but these are highly emotive "get the hell away from me texts". And I abs mean it.
We'd been broken up a month, but it still keeps lingering... . And I want it to end... .
Me: "<her name>. Its just utterly draining being with you. You play games and just do things to try and make me jealous. Its just so draining... .You act like a teenager and always have done... .yes please get your things... .and stop this ridiculous holding on ... .ive moved on too... .so lets stop this silliness now"
Her: "Just asked for books - nowt else <my name>
Me: "You really are the oddest woman Ive met"
And 20 mins later I thought lets just do it... .I just needed to close this... .and make her know why... .not that she'll ever get it... .
Me: "And to finalise my thoughts about you, had you ever been arsed when I went out and not sulked for 4 days and actually given a ___ and said that you wanted me I would have been round like a shot. But ya didn't. Not <explitive-ing> once did you ever show any interest in me... .instead of garbled drunken nonsense... .And all that was because youre just completely mental and neurotic... .so yeah... .I have moved on... .And once all this utter ridiculousness is over, tbf I don't wanna be friends... .coz ur not the kinda friend I want. I aint angry btw before you start crying to everyone how nasty I am... .I'm just glad this has finally come to an end, because I could not go another day with you. That Monday we met at the "Mint" I knew I didn't want you but was upset. I was upset that you made a complete <expletive> up of everything. You did all this. And if you don't see that, then youre a fool and you've lost a man that would have loved you forever. And I want you to know that and live with it... .Because you <expletived> it big time. Big time <her name>.
- and my last text... .
And don't worry I don't expect any response. I literally don't give 2 <explitives> whether you do or not... .I just want you to go away and no more texting after tonight... .I'm sure you can live without your books (Me: its 2 books on growing vegetables btw)... .stop holding on to this coz I'm not interested anymore now ive woken up and seen you for who you are ... .I do wish you well but I don't want you near me ... . you need to let it go now... .and we both know you don't care about the books... .so please, that's enough now. Its done... We are done. Go live your life... .and have fun for once... .bye <her name> please just go now x
Its maybe the wrong way to do it, I don't know, but I need to rebuild stuff, and I cant with her on the scene... .She has to go... .
Anyway... .thanks for letting me vent... .
