Introducing myself

[MommaDomma]

Hi group. Stop Walking on Egg Shells describes my daughter perfectly. It also describes me & our relationship. I feel awful saying this, but if she was not the mother of my grandchild, I would be tempted to just avoid her. Of course I know that is wrong, I’m just tired of living in a war zone. I feel as if I’m being held hostage because she knows how I feel about her child. Let me say that he is a preschooler with developmental & speech delays & she is a single parent with no father in the picture at all.  My husband & I pretty much totally support them. Holding a job is pretty difficult because of his early education/therapist schedule. (I realize I just made an excuse for my BPD).  I am very good to them & do not deserve the abuse. I worry about how her condition will affect her child. It seems to be getting worse with time. My goal is to better handle the landminds I come upon & more importantly to help my daughter overcome BPD.

Our objective is to better understand the struggles our child faces and to learn the skills to improve our relationship and provide a supportive environment and also improve on our own emotional responses, attitudes and effectiveness as a family leaders

[Huat]

Hello and welcome MommaDomma

Our daughter has two children (now 25/27) and both were born when she was estranged from their different fathers.   Often I would shake my head when she referred to herself as a "single mother" because my husband and I took up the slack.  We literally put our lives on hold and coordinated child care so she could continue working.  We made sure money was never an issue for her or our grandchildren.

We walked on eggshells, also, as we knew any one of her "episodes" might culminate with us being cut off from those loves-of-our-lives.

I can see that you are on a real emotional roller coaster ride, as many of us are.  With all that, you end your post by writing... ."My goal is to better handle the landmines I come upon and more importantly to help my daughter overcome BPD."  I commend you, MommaDomma! 

Once again... .welcome!  Sure hope it helps you in knowing you are not alone.  You will find so much support in/on this forum to help along your journey.