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Skills we were never taught
98
A 3 Minute Lesson
on Ending Conflict
Communication Skills-
Don't Be Invalidating
Listen with Empathy -
A Powerful Life Skill
Setting Boundaries
and Setting Limits
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Grammy to 5
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What is your sexual orientation: Straight
Who in your life has "personality" issues: Romantic partner
Posts: 1


« on: November 08, 2017, 11:57:38 PM »

I have been married for 35 years and found out 18 mos. ago that my husband has BPD.  We have been working with a counselor and I have been growing and changing and learning how to best deal with this mental illness.  I'm not sure what the future holds for our relationship, but just wanting and needing the support of others who deal with the same thing.
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pearlsw
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Gender: Female
What is your sexual orientation: Straight
Who in your life has "personality" issues: Romantic partner
Posts: 2801


"Be kind whenever possible, it is always possible"


« Reply #1 on: November 09, 2017, 12:01:00 AM »

Hi Grammy to 5,

Welcome

Glad you found us here and glad you found out about BPD. How did you figure it out may I ask? What have you found so far are the best ways to deal with his mental illness? Thank you for sharing and looking forward to hearing more from you and about your situation! I've found this to be a very supportive place myself and we really appreciate having a strong group here to support each other.

Take care, pearlsw.
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Walk on a rainbow trail, walk on a trail of song, and all about you will be beauty. There is a way out of every dark mist, over a rainbow trail. - Navajo Song
Tattered Heart
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Gender: Female
What is your sexual orientation: Straight
Who in your life has "personality" issues: Romantic partner
Relationship status: Married
Posts: 1943



« Reply #2 on: November 09, 2017, 09:13:55 AM »

Welcome Grammy Welcome

I'm glad you've found us. Can you tell us a little more about your relationship or how you came to get a diagnosis?

35 years! Congratulations! What's it like to have lived with someone with BPD for that long and to just now get a diagnosis? Do you feel relieved, scared, hopeful?
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Hope deferred makes the heart sick, but a longing fulfilled is a tree of life Proverbs 13:12

hurtingbad

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Gender: Female
What is your sexual orientation: Straight
Who in your life has "personality" issues: Romantic partner
Relationship status: Married
Posts: 36



« Reply #3 on: November 09, 2017, 12:57:59 PM »

Hello Everyone,
I found this site maybe a year or so ago (?), and just recently returned to re-read some lessons/posts, learn a few things (pretty much still a newbie!).  For the most part, things had seemed to be getting better... .at least the arguments had lessened in frequency... .but a few days ago I decided I needed to come back here.  I have not been married quite as long (27 years), and my husband has not (and never will be) formally diagnosed, but almost everything I read about BPD fits.  I'm hoping, as the years together are similar to yours, Grammy to 5, that I will learn something from you!  The difference being, since my H will not see a doctor, there will be no diagnosis nor therapy in our future, so I'm hoping to learn enough to be able to continue to handle this on my own... .as difficult as that may be.     
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