If you want to help your partner, focus on saving their spiritual successors.

[Purged]

Yeah this is a weird one, i'm not actually expecting many comments, just wanted to get it out there, perhaps partly for my own catharsis.

Then focus on saving their spiritual successors, the next generation of people with BPD. The odds are becasue your attention isn't soley on them they will ditch you.

So yeah, this disorder isn't going away any time soon, there's going to be a lot of others born with the condition.

If you have a personality type that is somewhat helper/fixer and you believe in doing the greater good, then change your career path so that it aligns with helping people with BPD somehow. Even if we make massive leaps in understanding exactly how the brain works, and almost perfectly understand it, the people at the more severe end of the spectrum are still not going to be cured of their attachment issues regardless of what improved therapy evolves from our future knowledge.

So if there are other crazy altruists out there... don't just look into the fields of psychology; I reckon we are going to need the help of neuroscientists and whatever jobs it would take to develop brain machine interfaces to help redirect what emotional miswirings our greater BPD family suffer. Obviously this is a long way in the future, but it has to start somewhere and if enough varied people help the psychologists and therapists, perhaps a lot less people will suffer one day.

[Vent]

Hi purged,
I'm also thinking like dat... I love him so much but he want now no contact with me... he also dnt knw about BPD... in future I really want to contribute for children's physiological health... I want to connect with him at least through some work

[Mutt]

I like your compassionate message   I just wanted to say that you don’t have to shoot big, you can shoot small too, for example volunteering time on the site helping fellow members  

[Harley Quinn]

This is a very good post as it touches me deeply. 

I felt I had to DO something to make a difference for other sufferers and their carers so I got involved with the mental health services in our area and managed to get right to the top person to give my views and experiences. 
 
I gave feedback that is being used to help towards staff training now and in the future.  Changes are being made.  The system is getting close scrutiny and more families are involved to support the right decisions being made.  A film is being made with people's true life experiences to teach future mental health professionals about the effects on families of serious mental illness and how they can make a difference to this.  I've got email contact with the organiser of the groups who effect change in the mental health service through work streams currently in progress, an open invite to all of the meetings and have offered to volunteer my time in any way they can use my skills. 

Having opportunity to help here gives me a way to volunteer somewhere that is directly involved with BPD and I couldn't ask for more.  It's exactly what I was looking for.  A chance to help someone like myself. 

Love and light x   

[Tattered Heart]

After I get settled into my new church a little more I plan to start a women's group for those involved in difficult relationships. Eventually I hope to start a deliverance ministry especially to help those with mental illness.  

Until then,  helping others on this board is where I get a lot of satisfaction.

[JohnLove]

Well that's something... .but PEOPLE from suffer personality disorders, it's not just women in "difficult" relationships. I'd go further and state in my experience it is often women who are more covert BPD and it is the men who end up in "difficult" relationships. I'd also agree that this isn't absolute either.

Purged, I think your idea has merit. It's really too late for most people once they reach adulthood.

I believe saving the next generation when they are still children is a fantastic idea and one that I've been practicing in my life.

[Tattered Heart]

Well that's something... .but PEOPLE from suffer personality disorders, it's not just women in "difficult" relationships. I'd go further and state in my experience it is often women who are more covert BPD and it is the men who end up in "difficult" relationships. I'd also agree that this isn't absolute either.

Of course. I'm just choosing to focus on teaching women.

[WildernessMan]

Helping others is ALWAYS good!

One point I want to make though. First let me say I believe in genetics as a factor in someone having BPD.

I am also a very strong believer that BPD can often be caused by early childhood family trama. I say this because my wife has BPD (undiagnosed) and she experienced serious trama as a child. Father was an abusive alcoholic, etc.

Our daughter ended up being diagnosed with severe BPD at age 18 (now 21). I believe our daughter's BPD was likely caused, in part, by her mother and I arguing/fighting during her early years. Trama. I'm not a psychologist but did witness this first hand.

For this reason, I suggest considering offering help to young families in conflict, because the young children in these families may otherwise end up suffering with BPD.   

[Dwight]

For this reason, I suggest considering offering help to young families in conflict, because the young children in these families may otherwise end up suffering with BPD.   

I hope I'll be able to help my children.

[tryingsome]

I think there are a lot of good angles in this conversation. I am wondering how many altruistic people are on this board and if that is something that attracts pwBPD as a whole?

I believe we do have our own path and each has their own share they can give. I donate blood, volunteered as a mentor for children's photography, and donated a kidney anonymously. I believe we all have our finer points. I think one area to watch out is to help those who do not wish it. Being altruistic and a 'fixer' is great just don't get lost in trying to change people who don't want to change. They'll come for help when they deem it necessary.

A person can help just by listening. Be the motion you want to be in the world; that is enough.