BPD Mother & Xmas

[anon72]

Hi,

I have posted here previously, but just needed to vent a little/share - as I am a little surprised by how blatant her behaviour has become.

1.  Wrote her an email around Thanksgiving telling her about a new pet and a new vehicle I have etc. etc.

2.  She wrote an email to my sister the other day and copied me on it (my mum is the Triangulation Queen), and did a one line PS to me at the end.

3.  I wrote to her and made it clear that I was only interested in personal emails - not triangulation emails etc.  Had previously reminded her of this.

4.  No response to this email or my email about Thanksgiving.  Or anything that could demonstrate her interest in me and my life.

5.  However, an email for Xmas telling me how much she misses me and that she has put up stockings for us - guilt city etc. etc.   And took a photo.

The games do not stop.   She will not respect me or accept boundaries - it is now coming up to Xmas - and I am exhausted by all of this stuff.  Generally I have moved on (realized all of this around 2 years ago) - but am at the stage of almost telling her to go jump.  As there is no authenticity about any of this - it is all fake.  Am tired of her being fake and not being interested in the real me.

That's all for now.  Just needed to vent - seems that it hurts more around Xmas time - as we all know.  Am trying to move forward and beyond all this - but is tricky at times.

Thanks for listening.

Cheers,
Anon72

[worn_out]

Yes, Christmas brings out the worse in BPD parents.  Maybe you could put in as short an appearance as possible? It sounds like your mom doesn't send you personal e-mails it's because doing so would mean acknowledging that you are a separate human being. How dare you presume to be more than an post-script! Stick to your guns, although especially at this time of year it can feel lonely. I had a similar mother. Disengaging yourself from your mother's behavior will bring new people and situations into your life where you are respected and valued.