How to Make Closure

[pest]

Dear All,

My 2 years of relationship have finished with my pwBPD gf 1 month ago. The last step would be taking my last stuff from her in few days. She is freezing cold and behave me like enemy for no reason at all. We have experienced really good days but after her behaviors, no matter how disordered she is I only feel hate and I feel like she is a disgusting selfish person. 

I dont want revenge but also I dont want her to leave burden of this relationship easily. I know today she may feel confident but in few months her relationship attempts will more likely to fail and I want her to experience what I have experienced at least a little.

I had to sacrifice lots of things and I failed from my both academic and professional life.

I need your help to how to proceed after when I have nothing to do with her. Shall I remove her from social media? Shall I have no contact? She manipulates my feelings in every chance like I am her enemy but in reality there is absolutely nothing, I mean I havent do nothing bad to her till the last morning she went crazy and ask me to broke up.

Please advice me in that moment have superior situation than her. At least I can calm down, I feel terrified.

[Mutt]

Hi pest,



I’m sorry that you’re going through this. I suggest that you give her nothing. There’s nothing worst to a pwBPD than being ignored. Give her silence. I suggest going no contact and take this time to do self work and to take really good fare of yourself. Hang in there.

[mjssmom]

I agree with Mutt.
The absolute worst feeling in the world to someone with BPD is to be ignored and not acknowledged. Just go no contact and Stone Cold silent. Cut her off from every avenue of contacting you. This is a disorder in which they feed off of attention even if that attention is negative. If you truly want to be free of her you have to go completely no contact. Rest assured that doing so and taking control of your own life will drive her absolutely crazy. They want adoration and when they don't get it it's very upsetting to them.

[pest]

Hi,

I took my stuff back. We didnt talk at all, only hi and byr. She seemed like happy and smiling. She was very well maintained her hair look etc.

After two hours she texted me that it was nice to see me and goodbye. Anyway I dont feel so bad, I feel releifed because I am already talking with someone. I realised quite good number of girls interested in me. Actually very good time that I feel somebody elses interest. I am only dissapointed because of she destroyed all the things we built and she will feel it later more intense but it would be so late for everything.

Now I have to build up everything from ground and I will miss her time to time. At least there are nothing which connects us anymore. But I realised as you wrote me in previous messages my ignorance hurts her, today she texted me that please dont ignore my messages. I am not trying to ignore but I naturally lost my encouragment to talk to her.

[Mutt]

Hi pest,

Have a little fun and meet someone that respects you that way you won’t have to rebuild again.