Harassed by ex-BPD's replacement/Boyfriend/Partner

[Maxpax2011]

Greetings, I am new to this site, and I do enjoy all the stories and can relate very much. One of the things I wanted to ask or maybe discuss is something I seem to find very little information about. Which pertains to the situation where a ex-BPD would instigate a conflict between us and the replacement/New Partner. I have had experience with this in the past due to my ex-wife having narcissistic tendencies and involving her boyfriends in our business with our children, I was even assaulted by one during a visitation exchange, but back then which was over ten years ago, I felt it was a rare incident. To share some background to my current situation, my ex-BPD and I split in September of 2017, and were in sporadic contact over the next few months, but once she tried doing the jealousy games and triangulating me, I ceased contact. I have been no contact for 4 weeks. Recently when I thought I was going to have no further contact with my ex-BPD, her new boyfriend contacted me on Facebook using a fake Profile, as I have them both blocked. And he proceeded to share obscene details of their sex life (How much she loves his !@#$). I blocked the profile, and then heard from a friend he was posting on his facebook that I was a stalker. I have never met him, did not know who he was until my ex added him on her Facebook as a boyfriend in the relationship status. I can only assume he found me because my ex told him about me. Now I have never come across this type of behavior before. Again in the past have had men confront me due to my exes encouragement, but never had one actually create a fake profile on Facebook to seek me out and share these obscene details. Has anyone else dealt with something like this before? Again I am unable to find any similar stories on the internet.

[valet]

I guess if it were me, how I dealt with it would depend on how threatened I felt by those messages.

If I truly felt in physical danger, I would have to contact the authorities.

Other than that though, which seems like a pretty rare and extenuating circumstance, not responding seems like the best route. These fires tend to go out if we don't feed them.

What do you think?

[Mutt]

Hi MaxPax2011,

To share some background to my current situation, my ex-BPD and I split in September of 2017, and were in sporadic contact over the next few months, but once she tried doing the jealousy games and triangulating me, I ceased contact. I have been no contact for 4 weeks.

You’re aware of triangulation, you probably already know this triangulation is like a three legged stool you remove one of the legs and the stool collapses.

Is this the first time that you’ve gone no contact it sounds like they’re lashing out which is to be expected when they don’t get the expected response - attention, emotional attachment, etc. The lashing out will only go for so long as long as you don’t to give them attention like valet suggests.

I agree with valet you contact the authorities it’s your situation and you know better than anybody on the boards. Take care of yourself.

[Maxpax2011]

Hi MaxPax2011,

You’re aware of triangulation, you probably already know this triangulation is like a three legged stool you remove one of the legs and the stool collapses.

Is this the first time that you’ve gone no contact it sounds like they’re lashing out which is to be expected when they don’t get the expected response - attention, emotional attachment, etc. The lashing out will only go for so long as long as you don’t to give them attention like valet suggests.

I agree with valet you contact the authorities it’s your situation and you know better than anybody on the boards. Take care of yourself.

Yes first time. Again like I said very shocked by this behavior. She never seemed the type to create this kind of drama. I think it will subside as long as I remain invisible. If she cant locate me then I think it will just go away.

[TurbanCowboy]

Yes first time. Again like I said very shocked by this behavior. She never seemed the type to create this kind of drama. I think it will subside as long as I remain invisible. If she cant locate me then I think it will just go away.

Imagine just leaving your house after an almost 6 year marriage and 45 days later your replacement is living in your house and your son is calling the guy Papi?

My wife is Latina and the most commonly used word for father is Papi. My wife has barely had a relationship with her father for 20 years and her mother’s father was murdered when she was a child. Now I’m being discarded when my son is a child.

Imagine you only see your boy every other weekend and when you call him he’s blabbering on and on about Papi who is some twice divorced ahole who is taunting you and couldn’t care less if the use of Papi is bothering you or is inappropriate...

My wife is has poisoned my ability to talk to my son which not only impacts me, it impacts my son. It’s white trash parenting 101.  If I did this to her she would kill me but of course hypocrisy has been a staple of our relationship for 10 years, it’s always about my wife’s feelings.

I’m trying hard not to get caught in triangulation but when my wife create’s a situation is calling another man father, it’s hard not to react and both her and this guy feed off my negative reaction.

I always knew my wife had a serious mental issue, but didn’t know she could stoop this low.

[Maxpax2011]

Imagine just leaving your house after an almost 6 year marriage and 45 days later your replacement is living in your house and your son is calling the guy Papi?

My wife is Latina and the most commonly used word for father is Papi. My wife has barely had a relationship with her father for 20 years and her mother’s father was murdered when she was a child. Now I’m being discarded when my son is a child.

Imagine you only see your boy every other weekend and when you call him he’s blabbering on and on about Papi who is some twice divorced ahole who is taunting you and couldn’t care less if the use of Papi is bothering you or is inappropriate...

My wife is has poisoned my ability to talk to my son which not only impacts me, it impacts my son. It’s white trash parenting 101.  If I did this to her she would kill me but of course hypocrisy has been a staple of our relationship for 10 years, it’s always about my wife’s feelings.

I’m trying hard not to get caught in triangulation but when my wife create’s a situation is calling another man father, it’s hard not to react and both her and this guy feed off my negative reaction.

I always knew my wife had a serious mental issue, but didn’t know she could stoop this low.

I feel for you my friend. Before this woman I dealt with many years of parental alienation with my ex-wife and her countless volatile boyfriends. And yes at one time shortly after our divorce she had my kids call one boyfriend daddy. But as I said I was shocked more so by it happening to me a second time. Thankfully this time I had no ties with the current ex. I was simply able to walk away. And my ex-wife and I now get along. Its tough and it sucks but if I were you I would use the tools of the courts and law enforcement. Document everything. Use a video recording device for any face to face encounters and always bring witnesses. Do not go alone. You can get through this. Be strong.