Anyone had their ex or current Bf w/BPD deny romantic feelings and come back?

[Nwish]

I was wondering if anyone experienced this... .  bf telling you he only loves you as a friend (not in a romantic way, even though it contradicts recent past events), and then kind of withdrawing, only to find out it was a defense mech., extinction burst, or fear on his part, and then having him recycle the relationship.

[RELATIONSHIP PROBLEM SOLVING]

RELATIONSHIP PROBLEM SOLVING This is a high level discussion board for solving ongoing, day-to-day relationship conflicts. Members are welcomed to express frustration but must seek constructive solutions to problems. This is not a place for relationship "stay" or "leave" discussions. Please read the specific guidelines for this group.

[Chirimoya]

Well... .mine has been sleeping in the other room for 18 months and has now said he wants to move out and just be friends. But I don't trust it.  I am kind of waiting for the other shoe to drop and for him to recycle me. Maybe I'm kidding myself. But we'll see. I strongly suspect it's a defense mech/extinction burst but not sure if it has enough momentum to carry him out of the relationship or not. Has yours actually recycled you or are you just wondering if he will? If so, how long was it from being friendzoned to being recycled?

[Nwish]

I’m just wondering if he will. He spent some time communicating with me and then just stopped, but he will answer me if I reach out. We never broke up before now. He got stressed and jumped into another relationship that failed quickly and he cried for me the entire time. When it ended he communicated with me and then out of the blue said he only loves me as a friend, but weeks before was all over me. And he won’t really “let go”... .we have shared things still.