She "doesn't want to be in a relationship" What does this mean?

[Depression = 72% of members]

When your exBPD tells you that they don’t want to be in a relationship and they’re working on themselves are they being truthful? Or just saying that because it sounds good... I’m wondering if mine is really “alone” or talking to someone new already. She just got out of a relationship with my replacement in November... , would she get in a new one 3 months later? Or do they space out relationships

[savreina]

When your exBPD tells you that they don’t want to be in a relationship and they’re working on themselves are they being truthful? Or just saying that because it sounds good... I’m wondering if mine is really “alone” or talking to someone new already. She just got out of a relationship with my replacement in November... , would she get in a new one 3 months later? Or do they space out relationships

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RELATIONSHIP PROBLEM SOLVING This is a high level discussion board for solving ongoing, day-to-day relationship conflicts. Members are welcomed to express frustration but must seek constructive solutions to problems. This is not a place for relationship "stay" or "leave" discussions. Please read the specific guidelines for this group.

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It's certainly isn't predictable from person to person, or even for a person.  I know, one year, I had been dating a lot and I just wanted to stop and play golf and not be involved with anyone.

It sounds like she isn't highly driven to be in a relationship - is more moving from one interest to another. Sounds like the blocking and unblocking is more impulsive than purposed.

Do you want to get back together? Do you think this is a good relationship for you?

[pearlsw]

Hi saverina,

I suppose a lot of us could say that for a lot of reasons on any given day! I can hear me saying that and thinking I'll never date again, and me being so open and loving I'd probably give that right up for a really appealing guy (were I single).

Have you ever seen this ex do any self-work? Therapy? Is she possibly saying to spare your feelings? Or to hide how fast she moved on? What do you think is going on?

wishing you happiness, pearl.