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Author Topic: Broke up. I have not been out of my house for over a week  (Read 813 times)
calmant

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Who in your life has "personality" issues: Romantic partner
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« on: February 03, 2018, 09:55:58 AM »
Hello i think i jut been dumped 2 days after we had a great time, but thinking about this there was gas lighting from her in those 2 days
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« Reply #1 on: February 03, 2018, 10:12:10 AM »
Hi calmant,

Welcome

Thanks for joining the group    Can you give us a backstory? How long have you been together? What problems are you having? What do you mean by you think she dumped you?
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calmant

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« Reply #2 on: February 03, 2018, 10:14:20 AM »
wow i think it just happened to me although sms unclear
15:57/email" ... .preferred dates to go to LA 14th february" then at 16.13, 15 minutes later:" ... .I NEED A REST YOU ARE OVEREARING AND I AM EXHAUSTED . THIS ALL IS COMPLETELY DRAINING I am aFRAID OF YOU. I D'ONT THINK WE ARE AT THE SAME PLACE .FOR CERTAIN it is not A GOOD PLACE TO BE, PLEASE DO YOUR THING AND DO NOT PESTER ME I will contact you when I feel better"

are this 2 messages not contradictory or am i so gas lighted that i do not understand but it sounds to me like  a soft termination note
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calmant

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« Reply #3 on: February 03, 2018, 10:19:44 AM »
I am sorry I had the most gorgeous intelligent BPD partner for the passed 18 months, the saw her 12 days ago all fine and 9n days ago got fired i am a wreck to have not been out of mystery house for over a week , i do not know what to do
To you i would say No contact he might come back and then you ave to decide if you go for another round of abuse.
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« Reply #4 on: February 03, 2018, 10:36:33 AM »
Hi calmant,

We're here and we're listening! What's going on in your relationship these days? Did she give a reason for the breakup?

wishing you well, pearl.
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calmant

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« Reply #5 on: February 03, 2018, 10:57:05 AM »
 I am sorry I had the most gorgeous intelligent BPD partner for the passed 18 months, I saw her 12 days ago all fine and 9n days ago got fired i am a wreck to have not been out of mystery house for over a week , i do not know what to do
To you i would say No contact he might come back and then you ave to decide if you go for another round of abuse.
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calmant

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« Reply #6 on: February 03, 2018, 11:04:20 AM »
hi all wha do you think of my post and the contradictory notes am i fired or not? I have not heard from her in a week
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calmant

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« Reply #7 on: February 03, 2018, 11:24:57 AM »
I got these 2 messages
15:57/email" ... .preferred dates to go to LA 14th february" then at 16.13, 15 minutes later:" ... .I NEED A REST YOU ARE OVERBEARING AND I AM EXHAUSTED . THIS ALL IS COMPLETELY DRAINING I am AFRAID OF YOU. I D'ONT THINK WE ARE AT THE SAME PLACE .FOR CERTAIN it is not A GOOD PLACE TO BE, PLEASE DO YOUR THING AND DO NOT PESTER ME I will contact you when I feel better"

are this 2 messages not contradictory or am i so gas lighted that i do not understand but it sounds to me like  a soft termination note
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« Reply #8 on: February 03, 2018, 11:33:51 AM »
calmant,

are you asking for advice about a girlfriend, an employer, or both?
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     and I think it's gonna be all right; yeah; the worst is over now; the mornin' sun is shinin' like a red rubber ball…
calmant

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« Reply #9 on: February 03, 2018, 12:19:27 PM »
Want some advice if toga reads like a termination
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« Reply #10 on: February 03, 2018, 12:20:30 PM »
it reads like someone who is asking you for space.

is the person you are referring to your employer, a lover, or both?
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     and I think it's gonna be all right; yeah; the worst is over now; the mornin' sun is shinin' like a red rubber ball…
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« Reply #11 on: February 03, 2018, 01:53:22 PM »
Calmant,

Everyone here would like to help you, but no one here is quite sure what happened and what the situation exactly is. More detail would be wonderful.

Her two texts are indeed contradictory. They represent the two sides of her emotional pendulum. One minute she is planning to go to LA with you on valentine's day, the next minute (or 15) she is freaking out about being in a relationship with you. Sometimes, Valentine's day will do that to a person.

You said you think she is a "gorgeous intelligent BPD partner " Clearly, you had the best intentions toward her.  She has a accused you of being suffocating ("completely draining". Sounds like she's afraid to go all in and is somehow feeling pressured (doesn't matter if it is real or imagined, feelings are feelings).

Might pay to give her a little space and take things slowly if you want to stay in this.

Good luck,
DH
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calmant

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« Reply #12 on: February 04, 2018, 07:12:37 AM »
I met her 18 months ago and have become more and more submissive towards her which at time she adores and other times she feels suffocated that is alli can say
My gut instinct is that this exit was carefully planned and that she kept gas lighting me i cannot understand why on the 26th december she was talkingi of moving in together
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« Reply #13 on: February 04, 2018, 08:57:28 AM »
¿Cómo estás?

It sounds like she feeling a bit engulfed/smothered by you.

What does she mean that she is afraid of you?
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