Hi dazed_n_confused
She has her hand over his and the photo is focused on the engagement ring that I gave her and she refused to return.
It can induce anger when a partner refuses to return an engagement ring. Me too, I know a little bit of what this feels like.
It seems like you're getting the pangs of betrayal. I understand that you bought it, you gave it to her with the expectation of marriage, and she didn't return it after the relationship ended. So of course, you feel those pangs of betrayal.
Before you consider this next part, I encourage you to practice some
radical acceptance.
Despite your xGF having a "new guy", isn't your xGF still married? ... .
Yes, she is still married. She told me that she told her husband about this new guy.
... .
I don't want to be anyone's Plan B, and that's what has caused the most friction between us.
The point here is not an I-told-you-so. Not at all. I was--in some ways--the person in your position. The point is that an intimate relationship has reciprocal elements built in. What you do affects the other person, and vice versa. What you do affects you, via this idea.
One way to look at this is under the text. You (call yourself person "
M5" became romantically involved with her (call this person "
F1" while she is still in a formal relationship with someone else (call the husband "
M4". In doing so, you conveyed to her that you're correspondingly okay with being treated to the standard she is treating the man she is in a formal relationship with. By doing so, under the text, you can be seen to forfeit the corresponding right to rely on the obligations of the rules of the formal relationship.
To simplify:
- The way you act toward her promotes that F1 is not obligated to M4 by fidelity, even with the condition of marriage.
- So why should F1 be obligated to M5 by fidelity?
But so what? I'd like to support
Woolspinner2000's suggestion to you;
Where do you see yourself in this relationship now?
Afterward, please do answer; where do you see yourself right now, with or without this relationship? I'd contend that it's going to be much easier for
you to go this way than to try to act on your current feelings of injustice.
I hope you grow toward peace.