Why no contact is important.

[Depression = 72% of members]

Relationship with wife ended 2 months ago. She met a guy on Craigslist a few days before Christmas and moved in with him.

She has a large inheritance.

So she broke up with that guy and reached out to me. Then moved to Colorado. Now currently in Arizona. Before each move she reaches out with the "I miss you" "I love you" etc.   Which  sets me back with healing.

This last time she is emailing me her dreams with me. Then sending me love songs.   Along with telling me how she misses me.

I ignored some of the above, then she emails how awesome her new house is across the country. How she loves the area, is starting a business etc.

The above irritated me.  I called her to ask he to stop contacting me, and asked her why she keeps reaching out.

She then said "I didn't call to say I miss you", "I was just telling you a dream", and the songs were "nothing personal", and she didn't even know the words. She was also mad at me for not "being happy for her"

Which drew me into a sort of argument.  

She then tells me the guy she met on Craigslist she let use her charge card. And he spent 10k and would not repay her.  He also convinced her to sell our car ;was in her name), and that she was going to rent out his basement before she disappeared on him.

All of the above made me really mad as she never paid any bills with me. It was a car I loved.  And I never even used her bank card.  

Long story short, any time they "reach out" to specifically say things like "I miss you", they then deny even saying it!  It's maddening.

Also of course upset me that she was with a guy for a few weeks and gave him 10k.

Nothing good comes from hearing from them.  It's not even "real". It almost seems like a game.

[Husband321]

Relationship with wife ended 2 months ago. She met a guy on Craigslist a few days before Christmas and moved in with him.

She has a large inheritance.

So she broke up with that guy and reached out to me. Then moved to Colorado. Now currently in Arizona. Before each move she reaches out with the "I miss you" "I love you" etc.   Which  sets me back with healing.

This last time she is emailing me her dreams with me. Then sending me love songs.   Along with telling me how she misses me.

I ignored some of the above, then she emails how awesome her new house is across the country. How she loves the area, is starting a business etc.

The above irritated me.  I called her to ask he to stop contacting me, and asked her why she keeps reaching out.

She then said "I didn't call to say I miss you", "I was just telling you a dream", and the songs were "nothing personal", and she didn't even know the words. She was also mad at me for not "being happy for her"

Which drew me into a sort of argument.  

She then tells me the guy she met on Craigslist she let use her charge card. And he spent 10k and would not repay her.  He also convinced her to sell our car ;was in her name), and that she was going to rent out his basement before she disappeared on him.

All of the above made me really mad as she never paid any bills with me. It was a car I loved.  And I never even used her bank card.  

Long story short, any time they "reach out" to specifically say things like "I miss you", they then deny even saying it!  It's maddening.

Also of course upset me that she was with a guy for a few weeks and gave him 10k.

Nothing good comes from hearing from them.  It's not even "real". It almost seems like a game.

[Speck]

Whew! Glad to hear an update from you, Husband321, but that all sounds awful.

Yes, if NC works for you and helps you to gain clarity and healing then, NC is definitely the way to go. Cutting people off is a very painful step to take, but it is sometimes necessary to do so in extreme cases such as this. Thanks for sharing your story with us.  Here's a bro hug: 

Keep writing, keep processing... .


-Speck