Getting family member to therapy

[lillynbloom]

My family member lives several hours away.  I know she needs help in order to move forward.  I've gone with her to counseling once but each counselor gets put on the "terrible person" list after a session or two.  I've encouraged her to keep searching for a therapist that's a good fit for her but now she says she'll NEVER go back to counseling.  Any ideas?  I feel so helpless since the only way I help is an occasional call or visit. 

[Kwamina]

Hi lillynbloom

It can be quite challenging getting someone help if the person is unwilling to accept it. Why does your sister say she'll never go back to counseling? Does she think she'll never find a good fit?

You mention knowing she needs help to move forward. What are the main issues your sister is dealing with? Has your sister perhaps been diagnosed with any kind of disorder?

Take care and welcome to bpdfamily

The Board Parrot

[Mutt]

Hi lillynbloom,



I’d like to join Kwamina and welcome you to bpdfamily. Is your sister diagnosed? A pwBPD have chronic feelings of shame I think that if she says that she doesn’t like them it could be that she feels like she’s being criticized or judged a pwBPD need a lot of validation.

[zachira]

You might read up on Motivational Interviewing and use some of the techniques with her. Motivational Interviewing has for many years been regarded as the most effective intervention for alcoholics and drugs addicts. It is now used in all kinds of settings, including for health behavior change and the the fundamentals are easy to learn. Basically, you meet the person where they are in terms of motivation, including having no motivation at all to do anything. I used it with men who had been in and out of prison, who were addicts.  I listened for many an hour to a client telling me he had no desire to quit using or stay out of prison. Eventually (usually the next session), he would tell me had changed his mind, and he would tell me why he wanted to change. (I believe it worked, because most people who are challenged in making decisions have difficulty with internal dialog, and need to be listened to by someone else in order to fully think things through.)