Wife hates it when i go out and do stuff

[Sher]

Hi

Been married 22 years to high school sweetheart who is high fucntioning and appears to be  suffering from this cursed disease but refuses to acknowledge it at all, has been diagnosed with severe depression and has clevery managed to get herself off meds.

Ive been recomeding she see a psychiatrist (oh yes that went off as well as you can imagine) to help her, i cannot diagnose, but strongly suspect BPD having read a number of books now, she hits all the key markers.

Have been to counceling myself to make sure i was not out of line, counselor advised to not react (im a pretty calm fun easy going type, but good grief... .easier said than done), Have one kid who left for Univ last year (bolted as fast as she could - Lol), also recomended i take care of myself, have manged to lose 50LBs, yoga, hiking, eathing properly, etc. so thats good, but the day to day unease and frustration is really wearing me down.

Were both professionals and i would like to see it work out, though im not sure i have the strength and may snap at some point myself.
Love to socialise, but we have no friends, she eventaully hates everyone in some way or the other. she has not friends at all, constantly unwell, weak, it must be very difficult on her but she is completely unwilling to seek help or acknowledge vulnerabilty.

i know im supposed to get on with my life and go out and do the things i enjoy, but i find that hard to do, so i do with the dogs, but i would really like to spend time with her and enjoy her company but it just never works out that way. She hates it when i go out and do stuff and god forbid i socialize with out her, (hell hath no fury... .you get the picture)

Will share more but thought id start here.

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[Tattered Heart]

Hi Sher,

Welcome *Welcome*,

I'm sorry that you've felt so isolated in your relationship. Having a spouse that does not like to go out to do things is difficult. My H is the same. It's important that you continue to have a rich social life to fulfill your social needs.

What prevents you from going to do things with others?
What is one social event you can go to in the next couple weeks?

We can help you work out how to address not being home with your wife.