Wife diagnosed at the end of January, and it’s been a roller coaster ride since

[Mechanic72]

My wife was recently diagnosed with BPD. I have done some research, and have found it has brought some sense to the entire relationship. Still looking to learn as much as I can, so I can help her live a productive life. She was diagnosed at the end of January, and it’s been a roller coaster ride since.

[PLEASE - NO RUN MESSAGES]

PLEASE - NO RUN MESSAGES This is a high level discussion board for solving ongoing, day-to-day relationship conflicts. Members may appear frustrated but they are here for constructive solutions to problems. This is not a place for relationship "stay" or "leave" discussions. Please read the specific guidelines for this group.

[CryWolf]

Welcome Mechanic72 

You've come to the right place to understand yourself and your partner. Glad you and your wife are aware of the situation and are working together to improve your relationship. I understand you want to help her live a productive life, but at the moment what are you doing to help yourself? Sometimes we become so focused on our partners needs that we forget our own. I'm sorry you are on this roller coaster ride. We've all been on this ride and know what you are going through. You are not alone, and we are glad you came here for help and understanding. Would you like to discuss this "rollercoaster ride"?

[Mechanic72]

She did a month long in patient program, then a month long partial in patient program, now she’s going to therapy twice a week, plus see’s a psychiatrist a couple times a month. She made a friend while she was in the partial in patient program, and is wanting to spend every second she can with this new friend. On top of that she keeps finding support groups and feels the need to go to every one. Don’t get me wrong, I’m glad she is finally feeling like getting out and doing things. The thing is, we have 3 kids, ages 1,5,and 9, and they don’t understand, why mommy is always going. It’s almost like now that she feels a little better, she doesn’t want to be tied down. Then there’s the financial part of it. She is and has been for most of our relationship, a stay at home mom. To support the family I work a lot of overtime, I’m fortunate to have a job that I can, and I don’t mind, but she’s expecting to not stay late so she can go out with her friend, or go to support groups. And as far as me taking care of myself, between working 12 hours a day most days and most weeks 6 days, and an hour and a half commute each way to work, there’s not much time for me, so I’m running on empty, and starting to get extremely stressed. And if I talk about her spending time as a family, or with me, I’m being controlling, and I don’t trust her.