Therapist suggested my wife has BPD (and I think she's right)

[handle]

My wife and I have been married for almost six years and we have a 2 and 3 year-old together. As I look back at our relationship, she started showing signs of BPD around the time she was diagnosed with two auto immune (thyroid) conditions. That was almost four years ago now. During the last couple years she's been resorting to threats of divorce even at the smallest disagreement and it has gotten to be more frequent. Wondering if anyone else is dealing with similar issues and any advice on how to respond during these situations.  I recently asked her how I can better help or handle situations where she's triggered and starts getting verbally abusive and irrational... .whether it's walking away or just leaning in to allow her to express her frustration and she told me there was nothing I could do.

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[NGU]

Hi Handle.

Time-wise, it sounds like this has been going on for about two-thirds of your marriage, and longer than you've had children.

I recently asked her how I can better help or handle situations where she's triggered and starts getting verbally abusive and irrational... .whether it's walking away or just leaning in to allow her to express her frustration and she told me there was nothing I could do.

Obviously, this is frustrating. It's like a lose-lose, because you're getting a negative reaction whether you walk away or listen.

If you're up for sharing some more detail, I'm wondering how these interactions have been typically playing out past the stage you're describing. For example, what your reaction has been after she says there's nothing you can do.

Welcome to the forum. Hope you hear back from you.

-ngu

[Mutt]

Hi Handle,

 

Id like to join NGU and welcome you to bpdfamily, I’m sorry that you’re going through this by what you wrote it must of been lonely not knowing what the problem was. Obviously you want that better yourself and the r/s house t to therapist and you’re looking for help from a support group. I’d like to echo NGU what’s your backstory?