22 Year old Daughter with BPD

[MissMel]

I think if I wrote a book about the last 5 years, readers would think it was fiction.  We have dealt with a few suicide attempts, crashed cars, stealing from us, drugs, very risky behaviors, verbal and physical abuse (she spit in my face once), ruined holidays all from our beautiful, caring, kind-hearted, loving daughter. 

She is extremely impulsive, controlling and manipulative.  However, in the right place and time she would do anything to help you, support you and care for just about anyone.  I found this website last night and feel that I can relate to everyone.   

My daughter will go to her counselor and then she won't.  She will take her meds, then won't.  Currently, she is taking them.  It seems every doctor has a different "recipe" of medications to help.  She is currently taking Atomoxetine, Gabapentin and Lorazepam.  She actually overdosed on the Lorazepam about 4 years ago - I'm not sure that is a good med for her to be back on.  Any input on the medications?

I started talking to a counselor this week.  I honestly just feel traumatized.  My daughter had been at a job for about 7 months and last week got in an argument (pretty minor) with a co-worker and decided that she could not go back to work this week.  Too afraid that "everyone" would be talking about her behind her back.  5 of her co-workers unfriended her from facebook over the weekend so that really raised her anxiety. 

Our objective is to better understand the struggles our child faces and to learn the skills to improve our relationship and provide a supportive environment and also improve on our own emotional responses, attitudes and effectiveness as a family leaders

[bluek9]

WELCOME MISSMEL,

                  So sorry you had to find this place, but so glad you are you. You are in the right spot for sharing your story. I echo the exact feeling you have "If I wrote a book, readers would think it was fiction".
               My daughter is 35 and lives with me. She too has been on the medication merry-go-round. We stopped all that the first of this year by finding a very good psychiatrist (one who listens). Unfortunately there is no medication for BPD, all we can do is find the right meds. to treat the co-existing symptoms- anxiety, depression and so on.
           I'm really glad to hear that you are seeing a counselor. It can really help to process all the feelings we go through as parents. Traumatized is one of the regular feelings. Please look around the site, read and keep posting. Sharing is a great way to unload, and everyone here will understand what you're talking about.

[Mutt]

Hi MissMel,



I'd like to join bluek9 and welcome you to bpdfamily. Wow you went through a lot in five years it must of been a very hard time for you. Who do you turn to in real life? If you turn to family and friends and share with them what you shared here it's a lot for them to take in you're in the right place because members here are going through the same thing. You're not alone. Anxiety can be crippling if it's very high, I can't speak for the meds, I'm not a professional I'd suggest to consult a P specific anti depressants work for some people and don't work for others it's finding the right type of meds and dosage I can understand how frustrating that is. Has she returned to work?

[zachira]

I hear how frustrated and sad you feel with all you have been going through with your daughter for the past five years. I think your daughter still has a good chance of getting better because you have a lot of good things to say about her and you are determined to do what it takes to help her. We are here to support you and listen. Please let us know how we can help.

[MissMel]

Thank you all for your responses.  I am already grateful for this interaction.  I don’t really have anyone to talk to about this... .either people don’t really understand or I think they wonder why she isn’t “getting better”.   Unfortunately, my daughter decided that the anxiety of going back to work was worse than losing her job, so she is now unemployed again. 

[Jnel921]

Miss Mei... .I totally understand you. I have started reading Walking on Eggshells and joined this site because I too needed to vent. My D is almost 21 and she has given me hell over the last 7 years. She too has been involved in risky behavior, crashed a car, cuts herself, threatens to kill herself often, has left my home many times over the past 2 years. Disrespect me and my home, smokes pot, has an equally mentally unstable boyfriend and cant hold a job either. She had 5 W2's when she filed her taxes this year and barely got anything back because she didn't last long enough.

I am at my wits end at how to deal with her and have started seeing a therapist and I am hoping I can apply the tools I am reading about in the book to my life. I honestly need to as I don't believe I will live a long life with the unnecessary stresses she causes me. She knows this and she doesn't care.