Divorce or not

[Red flag]

Hi I just joined this as I think i am divorcing my partner - I say think as not sure what to do and to be honest even though we have separated I am still unsure if its the right thing or if i am afraid I am doing more harm than good to both of us or if its best for both of us.  I am not sure whats keeping me from moving forward, I do love my partner but I know his actions are way out of control and he also has addiction problems.  These problems have been the source of many arguments.  However it is only now that i see this is part of  some of the BP traits.  We have never discussed BP but I can now also see the cycles ... so really just looking fr advice or knowledge to make me move forward in the right direction, once I am sure which direction.   Moving forward could mean reaching out and breaking no contact or moving to another country as i have a potential job offer.  so decision could be final either way.

[PLEASE - NO RUN MESSAGES]

PLEASE - NO RUN MESSAGES This is a high level discussion board for solving ongoing, day-to-day relationship conflicts. Members may appear frustrated but they are here for constructive solutions to problems. This is not a place for relationship "stay" or "leave" discussions. Please read the specific guidelines for this group.

[Mutt]

Hi Red Flag,



I’d like to welcome you to bpdfamily. I’m sorry for the circumstances that led you to this forum contemplating divorcing, feeling like you’re living in limbo it can really depressing to think about. You’re in the right place you’ll see that you’ll fit here.

I think that divorce is a personal choice it’s complicated it can take time to sort out a decision or you can decide quickly if your partner dies something that’s a deal breaker. We can’t tell you what to do. Are you seperated? You said break no contact. How long have you been separated?

[pearlsw]

Hi RedFlag,



What kinds of things is your partner doing? What did you see that caused you to recognize something was "off"?

Have you taken steps towards divorcing? Or are you just contemplating it?

compassionately, pearl.