C-PTSD. Can we start a conversation?

[Our abuse recovery guide]

Hi JNChell,

I probably will write my full story one day.  My first post here was horrific and I was a bit of a mess.  I thought I'd seen the worse but the journey I have had to go through since then with my BPD/NPD MIL and NPD FIL was even more horrific as an effect of them blaming me for my H's 'childhood disorder' his BPD!  If that was true I must have been a great sorceress to give my future H BPD 20 years before I met him!

Like so many other people here, I could write a book about it, with no doubt that it would be snatched up by Hollywood  .  At the moment I'm choosing not to relive it but here is the link to my first post back in 2012.

https://bpdfamily.com/message_board/index.php?topic=181297.msg12099930#msg12099930

If I had only been exposed to my H's type of BPD and not my MIL's NPD/BPD and pretty much ASPD as well, I too would have been unaware of how complex BPD could be and would probably be wondering why so many people on this forum site have pwBPD in their lives so different to my H.

With 9 BPD traits, there are 256 combinations of BPD alone, then when you add traits of NPD and ASPD, it can be rather complicated.  Adding to that the many pwBPD that also have other disorders such as eating disorders and not forgetting CPTSD.

When my H had BPD, he needed to read up on it seeing that his mother's BPD was affecting his emotions and at times risking his life. 

He would often come across comments that would note that all BPD people are like this or they all do that.  I had to explain to him how complex BPD actually was and that not everything you read about it is Black and White.

Seeing you are interested in this, below is a website that points out the result of a 2010 study showing a four class model illustrating the cross over of pwBPD with NPD and ASPD.  I was just lucky to have a H right up in the top aqua coloured bubble without any other overlap of other PD's.  However, looking at the graph, there are plenty of BPD sufferer's like my H. 

https://www.quora.com/Can-someone-have-BPD-and-be-a-sociopath

It as well as other similar studies are well worth looking at.

Another such study was measuring the amount of BPD sufferer's that also have NPD and that is full blown NPD with at least 5 traits!  It describes two studies.  One assessed pwBPD in T (like my H) and found 16% also had NPD.  But when they surveyed the population the figure was 39% of pwBPD also had NPD (as pwBPD/NPD rarely seek T).  Which is also worth checking out.

https://www.verywellmind.com/narcissistic-personality-disorder-425426


I am finding that there are more and more studies nowadays as BPD is actually being acknowledged as being a disorder one can recover from so its well worth institutions pouring money into research.

[Highlander]

Hi JNChell,

I probably will write my full story one day.  My first post here was horrific and I was a bit of a mess.  I thought I'd seen the worse but the journey I have had to go through since then with my BPD/NPD MIL and NPD FIL was even more horrific as an effect of them blaming me for my H's 'childhood disorder' his BPD!  If that was true I must have been a great sorceress to give my future H BPD 20 years before I met him!

Like so many other people here, I could write a book about it, with no doubt that it would be snatched up by Hollywood  .  At the moment I'm choosing not to relive it but here is the link to my first post back in 2012.

https://bpdfamily.com/message_board/index.php?topic=181297.msg12099930#msg12099930

If I had only been exposed to my H's type of BPD and not my MIL's NPD/BPD and pretty much ASPD as well, I too would have been unaware of how complex BPD could be and would probably be wondering why so many people on this forum site have pwBPD in their lives so different to my H.

With 9 BPD traits, there are 256 combinations of BPD alone, then when you add traits of NPD and ASPD, it can be rather complicated.  Adding to that the many pwBPD that also have other disorders such as eating disorders and not forgetting CPTSD.

When my H had BPD, he needed to read up on it seeing that his mother's BPD was affecting his emotions and at times risking his life. 

He would often come across comments that would note that all BPD people are like this or they all do that.  I had to explain to him how complex BPD actually was and that not everything you read about it is Black and White.

Seeing you are interested in this, below is a website that points out the result of a 2010 study showing a four class model illustrating the cross over of pwBPD with NPD and ASPD.  I was just lucky to have a H right up in the top aqua coloured bubble without any other overlap of other PD's.  However, looking at the graph, there are plenty of BPD sufferer's like my H. 

https://www.quora.com/Can-someone-have-BPD-and-be-a-sociopath

It as well as other similar studies are well worth looking at.

Another such study was measuring the amount of BPD sufferer's that also have NPD and that is full blown NPD with at least 5 traits!  It describes two studies.  One assessed pwBPD in T (like my H) and found 16% also had NPD.  But when they surveyed the population the figure was 39% of pwBPD also had NPD (as pwBPD/NPD rarely seek T).  Which is also worth checking out.

https://www.verywellmind.com/narcissistic-personality-disorder-425426


I am finding that there are more and more studies nowadays as BPD is actually being acknowledged as being a disorder one can recover from so its well worth institutions pouring money into research.

[Harri]

Highlander: 

I probably will write my full story one day.

I would like to read your story.  I think you bring a great perspective when you post about your experience of dealing with your husband through his recovery of BPD and now working with the c-PTSD.  You clearly love and support your husband and at the same time can see and acknowledge that most of us here will never see the kind of improvement in our pwBPD that your husband made.  Like I said, I think it is a great perspective to see and it is a hard one to share as well as you do.  Thank you.

That said, his recovery and his current battle are very much yours as well, never mind dealing with the in-laws.   

With 9 BPD traits, there are 256 combinations of BPD alone

This is so important to keep in mind when reading other people's stories. 

I am finding that there are more and more studies nowadays as BPD is actually being acknowledged as being a disorder one can recover from so its well worth institutions pouring money into research.

Perhaps this next question belong s somewhere else but let's see where this goes.  How do they define recovery?  4 out of 9 traits? 

Thanks for sharing Highlander!

[JNChell]

Hello again, Highlander! I’m with Harri on being grateful for you posting on this thread. The information and experiences that you have shared have been very helpful and educational. From where I stand, and I’m sure many other members here, you seem to be an authority on BPD, and the tangents that it can take off on. I’d also like to echo Harri on how most of us will never have the blessing that you do in having a loved one in recovery. Be proud of yourself for this, and proud of your husband for his acknowledgment, acceptance and willingness to change his behavior. Honestly, I hope to see you posting all over every board on this forum. A lot of folks here could benefit from your advice, personal experience and statistical knowledge. You’ve put the work in. Don’t be afraid to spread it around.


With 9 BPD traits, there are 256 combinations of BPD alone, then when you add traits of NPD and ASPD, it can be rather complicated.  Adding to that the many pwBPD that also have other disorders such as eating disorders and not forgetting CPTSD.

It’s no wonder why the mental health community is having a hard time with it. I feel like this is becoming a societal issue (all PD’s). How can this epidemic be nipped in the bud? It can’t. It’s become an outbreak. It can no longer be contained. Our youth are being fueled with narcissism.

He would often come across comments that would note that all BPD people are like this or they all do that.  I had to explain to him how complex BPD actually was and that not everything you read about it is Black and White.

This is why there are junk psychology warnings on this site. There is so much of it out there on the net. It is so unhelpful and counterproductive. It sounds like the two of you were able to find some stellar therapy. Do you have any advice for our fellow members on how to dig that up?

I am finding that there are more and more studies nowadays as BPD is actually being acknowledged as being a disorder one can recover from so its well worth institutions pouring money into research.

Yes, it seems to be really blowing up. With an exception being made with your husband, and gratefully so, I believe that narcissism is becoming an epidemic. If the generational affects are considered, along with the experiences we read about here, narcissism can breed BPD. I could get political on this stuff, but it defeats our purpose here, and I’m pretty sure it’s against the guidelines. I’m worn out on politics lately anyway.

Thank you, Highlander. I’ve learned a whole new dynamic.

[JNChell]

Thank you all for participating in this discussion. I have a question that maybe someone can help me with. I already have a life insurance policy in place for S3 through my employer. I’m wanting to add another policy though my credit union. It’s a no exam, questionnaire only application. One of the questions is if I have a mental disorder. Since C-PTSD is not yet recognized, let’s go with PTSD. I’ve seen numerous labels as far as what kind of condition it is. From my understanding, this is an anxiety disorder. Is that correct, or would an insurance company likely view PTSD as a mental disorder?

[Harri]

PTSD is classified as an anxiety disorder.

[JNChell]

Thanks, Harri!