FF finance post from a year or so ago

[Before you can make things better, you have to stop making them worse...]

 

Ground zero for my finances over past year

I stumbled across this when looking at some old threads, due to looking up last posts of a member that hasn't posted in a while.

The thread was pretty soon after the "card throwing incident".

My goal with this thread is to think about how the last year has gone financially with the relationship with my wife.

I'll hush for a bit a read some observations of others.

FF

[formflier]

 

Ground zero for my finances over past year

I stumbled across this when looking at some old threads, due to looking up last posts of a member that hasn't posted in a while.

The thread was pretty soon after the "card throwing incident".

My goal with this thread is to think about how the last year has gone financially with the relationship with my wife.

I'll hush for a bit a read some observations of others.

FF

[juju2]

Hi fg,

money is often an issue of unhappiness.
When I do the math, it's less than $500 a month,
which is 16 dollars a day, or $2 per kid... .that she misspent. 

I also felt that my s.o. misspent our money... .past tense.

Am just in a space of i dont know.
Money is a spiritual issue,  i believe.

Its not for me to judge my s.o. on his spending habits, that is a prescription for disaster... .
If am doing that in my head, i need to look at my whole attitude around him.   What else am I judging, and where else is he coming up short.

My two cents.

P.s.   I know how to spell f.f.

With kindness,
J

[juju2]

F,

Its about giving up what you know.
Giving up your view.   My view isnt the truth.

My view is the lens that has developed thru my life, my experiences. 

Its about being vulnerable, being respectful, of the wonderful human being who has chosen to spend their valuable time with me.

Its about being willing to go in to the unknown.

Enjoy,

J

[formflier]

When I do the math, it's less than $500 a month,
which is 16 dollars a day, or $2 per kid... .that she misspent.  

Misspent is like a polite way to put it.  If money is in the budget, and is moved around and spent on something else, perhaps without your partners consent... .I would say that is misspent.

There was a little bit of that.

The majority of it was emptying a reserve account that was joint access.  She put it in her own account and sent most of it to her family.

It was almost the downfall financially of our family, I'm still dealing with some of the fallout from that.  Long meeting with CPA today about stuff that happened back in 2014... .has reared it's head again... today.

Some things I would really not think about again... .seem to be back and affecting a current tax return.  Hopefully it can be straightened out in a couple days... .

Sigh... .

FF

[juju2]

It's about the importance I place on x.
Within that thinking, i fail to see all the other aspects.

Its about giving up my way.  My justification, rationalization, explanations.

Here I was blaming him, and i was gambling money like it was water... .that is my experience.

The bigger picture, when i point a finger, there are three pointing back at me.

When I give up, surrender, let my Higher Power direct my life, i become free.    I no longer need to judge, and decipher exactly where and how he misses the mark.  It's very freeing.