Had A Dream, What Did It Mean?

[Turkish]

My ex was moving back in.  She was going to divorce her husband.  She wanted to three years ago and seperated due to DV and also his lack of a career and pulling his own financial weight. 

In the dream she started telling me that I needed to get a new tv.  The 26" LCD I got from my company in 2010 on my 10th anniversary wasn't good enough. 

Then we were in the 3rd bedroom,  clearing it out so D6 could have her own room.  She started telling me that the room wasn't clean and this was why the kids had pneumonia.  They don't,  but she attributes a lot of the kids' ailments, real or imagined, to me not cleaning enough.  I well remember the Saturday morning cleaning crusades... .

Then I woke up.  I felt relieved though it took me a few seconds.

The funny thing is that in my dream I initially felt good about her coming back.  So I take this to mean that I still have unconscious feelings about her. 

That, or I need to buy a bigger TV.

[GaGrl]

Buy the bigger TV.

[Turkish]

Yes! It's the cheaper option as well. 

[once removed]

full disclosure: im terrible at dream interpretation.

The funny thing is that in my dream I initially felt good about her coming back.  So I take this to mean that I still have unconscious feelings about her. 

this is what jumped out at me too. it sounds though, like it was quickly followed by old, perhaps overwhelming, unpleasant feelings. does that sound right?

what was the most powerful feeling upon waking?

[Turkish]

RELIEF.

The old,  unpleasant feelings certainly.  I was told Sunday to clan the tub and she told D6 and me to make sure the shower curtain was on the outside of the tub if she took a bath.  Too much and I'm not stupid.  I actually wash the  curtain if it starts to get colored.

[once removed]

about once a year i have this dream where im with my ex, increasingly realizing i have to, and trying to figure out how to break up with her. they arent really good or bad dreams, though the feeling is powerful.

is it kinda like that? was there dread with the unpleasantness?

[Turkish]

She was and likely still is a lucid dreamer.  I'm not.  I sleep deeply, but can awaken instantly.  Night without the kids like tonight.  I go to bed early and awaken about 5AM. This was 4AM this morning.  Dread is a good description, but I didn't carry it with me today. 

[GaGrl]

Turkish, my DH lived with his uNPD/BPD then-wife for 20 years, then remained enmeshed with her,(separated but not divorced) for another 12-13 years (various reasons there). When we reconnected and married, he had uCPTSD. We've now been married 12 years, and DH still wakes from dreams about the Ex that trigger him.

[Notwendy]

I think in dreams we process feelings we don't face when awake and busy. The material things and even people in a dream may not make sense but the feelings are what I would focus on.

Your dreamed your ex moved in and at first you felt good about it. But then things weren't good enough. The TV, the room cleaning, not good enough.

Then you woke up and felt relief. Relief that you were not in this situation - that your ex did not move back in.

I think it makes sense that we would have some good feelings about someone we married and had children with. Few relationships are all bad - or all good. It makes sense to miss some aspects of living together as a family.  But the relationship ended for reasons as well. I think we do feel "not good enough" in a relationship with a pwBPD sometimes, but it isn't because we are not enough but that they are dealing with their own internal issues. Maybe the dream was a form of processing all these feelings. The relief when you woke up- that you aren't in this situation - may be a part of accepting that you did make the best decision for you at the time.

[Panda39]

I pulled some things off of a Dream Interpretation Website... .No I don't take this stuff literally, however I do like to read sometimes because it gets me thinking about things and maybe in a way that I didn't initially.  Take it or leave it.

Television
To dream that you are watching television represents your mind and its flowing thoughts. The dream reflects how you are receiving, integrating, and expressing your ideas and thoughts. The programs you dream of watching are an objective view of the things that are in your mind.

To dream that you are on TV suggests that there is something that you want to broadcast to the whole world. You have the desire to express yourself. Alternatively, the dream means that you are trying to take a more objective view on your life issues. If you dream that the TV show is your reality, then it means that you are avoiding some responsibility.

To dream that the television is broken or that the picture is fuzzy suggests that you are looking at a problem all wrong. You need to re-evaluate an issue.

Room
To dream that you are in a room represents a particular aspect of yourself or a specific relationship.  Dreams about various rooms often relate to hidden areas of the conscious mind and different aspects of your personality. If the room is welcoming or comfortable, then it signifies opulence and satisfaction in life. If you dream of being in a dark or confined room, then it denotes that you feel trapped or repressed in a situation.

To dream that you find or discover a new room suggests that you are developing new strengths and taking on new roles. You are growing emotionally. Consider what you find in the discovered room as it may indicate repressed memories, fears, or rejected emotions. Alternatively, such rooms are symbolic of neglected skills or rejected potential.

Dreaming that you are building or adding a room means that you are experiencing a surge of energy and renewed confidence. You have a different outlook on life and are moving toward a new direction in life. Alternatively, to build a room in your dream is symbolic of an expansion to your family.

To dream that you are in an empty white room indicates a fresh start. It is like a blank canvas where you want to start life anew. Alternatively, the dream means that you are trying to isolate yourself. You do not want any outside influences.

Dreaming that you are in a dark room with no doors signify ignorance. You are isolating yourself. Alternatively, the dream means that you refuse to be influenced by outside forces.

To dream of a dirty or messing room refers to an aspect of yourself that you are ashamed of or are refusing to acknowledge.

To dream of a yellow room suggests that you need to use your mind. You are feeling stimulated mentally.

Cleaning
To dream that you are cleaning implies that you are removing some negativity in your life and overcoming major obstacles. You are moving ahead toward a new stage in your life. In particular, if you are cleaning your house, then it means that you need to clear out your thoughts and get rid of your old ways and habits. You are seeking self-improvement. Alternatively, the dream may be a metaphor that you need to "come clean" or tell the whole truth about some situation or matter.

To dream that you are cleaning an object represents an aspect of yourself that is not working or functioning as well as it should. If you are cleaning the refrigerator or oven, then it indicates that you are getting to root of a matter or situation. It may also indicate feeling so negativity and inferiority. You feel stuck in some area of your life.

To dream that you are cleaning out a desk suggests that you are getting rid of the burdens that has been weighing you down. You are acknowledging your new choices, decisions, and a new sense of freedom.

Ex
To dream about your ex-boyfriend/girlfriend or ex-husband/wife, that you and your ex are kissing/fighting or that you and your ex got back together again suggests that something or someone in your current life is bringing out similar feelings you felt during that relationship with your ex. The dream may be a way of alerting you to similar behavioral patterns in your current relationship. What you learn from that previous relationship may need to be applied to the present one so that you do no repeat the same mistakes. Alternatively, you may be reflecting on the positive experiences and good times that you shared with your past love. Dreams of getting back together with your ex or of your ex wanting to get back together with you may not necessarily be a reflection of reality. This dream may be triggered by some major change in your current relationship and how far you have come from those past relationships.

In particular, to see your ex-husband/wife in your dream indicates that you are currently finding yourself in a situation that you do not want to be in. It suggests that you are experiencing a similar relationship or situation which makes you feel unhappy and uncomfortable. Alternatively, dreaming that you are together with your ex-husband/wife implies that you are subconsciously repeating the same old patterns from that relationship to your current relationship. You are making the same mistakes and reacting the same way.

To dream that your ex-boyfriend or ex-girlfriend is missing you suggests that you "miss" some aspect of that past relationship. A situation in your current life may be reminding you of your relationship with your ex. Alternatively, the dream may mean that you have moved on with your life. The notion that your ex is missing you may be a pun on that he has "missed" his opportunity or "missed" his chance with you.

To see your mate's ex in your dream suggests that you are comparing yourself to the ex. The dream is telling you not to make the same relationship mistakes that ended that relationship.

To dream that you ex has died indicates that your feelings for your ex are completely dead now. The dream is a metaphor of how you have let go of the past and are ready to move on and fully devote yourself to new relationships.

If you dream about your ex going shopping, then it implies that he or she is back on the market and part of the dating pool.

Metaphorically, seeing your ex in your dream may also signify aspects of yourself that you have x'd out or neglected.

Moving
To dream that you or someone is moving in or out of a place signifies your desire or need for change. It may also mean an end to a situation or relationship; you are moving on. Alternatively, it indicates your determination and issues regarding dependence/independence.

To dream that you are helping someone move indicates that you are afraid of change. You are not quite ready to confront some new situation by yourself. Alternatively, to help someone move implies acceptance of some new change, even though you may not agree with it.

To dream that your ex is moving in with you indicates that you are still holding onto some aspect of the relationship. You have not fully let go

Panda39

[Insom]

Hey, Turkish.  It sounds like this was an emotionally evocative dream.

The funny thing is that in my dream I initially felt good about her coming back.  So I take this to mean that I still have unconscious feelings about her. 

How do you feel about this?  Is it OK in your book to still have unconscious feelings for her?

[Turkish]

I don't like it. 

We were discussing getting D6 new sweaters and jackets this week.  I bought a nice one, pink, with a zip out fleece liner. Northface, not cheap, but it's big enough for next winter also.  I texted a pic to my ex.  She responded, "it's too bulky, she won't like it." I wanted to respond "zip out fleece for light coat, outer shell for rain jacket." But didn't.  Everything's a criticism... .

If D picks up on this tendency, it's going to drive me nuts. 

[JNChell]

Turkish. You told me to stop co-parenting recently, and I listened. I took your advice. Are you able to take your own? I’m approaching you as a friend. A member here. How would you feel if you had minimal contact with your ex, and were able to be on your own time with your kids? No more drinking water and all of that.

[Turkish]

It would be hard to completely switch it at this point.  I just need to assert better self boundaries.  She sends me pics of stuff age gets the kids.  I should have just done it on my side and not involved her in the process. I had lunch with them today and wee talked about how our son was doing in school.  It was ok.  Neutral. 

[Red5]

I sometimes dream about my first wife... .and when I wake up, I feel relieved... .and as well puzzled... .as if she is a some kind of ghost or something, and she is trying to get "close" to me, and tell me something... .very strange.

I think... .that because we married so young, she was barely 17, and I was 18... .and we spent 21 years married... that maybe out there in the vast universe, our "wires" may still be crossed... like the long ago disconnected phone lines in an old house?

Maybe somewhere out there, she is thinking of me, and so I dream about her... .who knows... .a random and barely audible radio signal or something... .

I wonder if I will dream about my current uBPDw when she is gone... .we've been separated now for a whole week !... .that said, and very sad to say, I have not ever connected with her anywhere near the level I did with my first wife... .as having children together will do to a couple... .we went through so much "together"... .and the hurt was so deep when we split... .lots to understand, or maybe not.

Dreams intrigue me!

Of note, my current uBPDw says that she never remembers her dreams, and she has even told me that she does not dream?

My first wife, she would wake me up in the middle of the night, and want to tell me about her dream... .

I have always had very vivid dreams, complete with taste, smell, and "weather"... .and many are reoccurring dreams... .

All very interesting.

Life is such a mystery!

Great thread Turkish !

Red5

[Turkish]

My ex remembered her dreams in detail. I was kind of jealous. I remember mine when I go to sleep early,  awake around 4 or 5 AM and then go back to sleep. 

21 years is a significant portion of life... .my 6 years together doesn't seem like much compared to that.

I'm glad that you and your adult son are safe now from your current r/s.

[Red5]

My ex remembered her dreams in detail. I was kind of jealous. I remember mine when I go to sleep early,  awake around 4 or 5 AM and then go back to sleep.  

I think... .that it depends on how tired you are, what is going on at the time, .how "wired" we are... .and I think that the "peak" dream window is between about midnight, and four AM... .if you are a "night sleeper"... .

When I was overseas... .I used to keep a note pad, and one of those old green crookneck GI flashlights with the red filter by my bunk, just so I could write a few quick bullets about a dream I'd had... .I still have these notes someplace... .I'll probably come across them as I "re-fit" the ship post uBPDw's move out... .as everything is "disturbed"... .closets, cabinets, attic storage so forth and so on... .

I also get "night sweats" sometimes... .uBPDw tells (told) me I "talk in my sleep" too, but she says she cant understand what I might have been saying... .sometimes I wake up from a dream, and I was screaming my head off in the dream, .so I would wake up, and wonder if I was really doing that... .most times not though(?)... .but my throat would be sore, and I would still be upset, or extremely agitated from the dream... .even shaking, or shivering... .all very very interesting.

I dream I'm back home with Granny and Grampa... in their home, but I know its a dream in the dream... .

I dream I'm working in Grampa's sawmill, .I can even smell & feel the heat from the machinery... .that was well over thirty years... .well thirty five + years ago now... .

I dream I'm floating, flying... .

I dream I'm working on the flight deck of a ship again... .and it's always so hot, and noisy... .I can hear the sounds of the jet engines, and the smells are vivid... .I will wake up feeling quite sore, and even tired... .but very "wired"... .

wow... .

Red5

[Insom]

I don't like it.

Would you like to say more about what you don't like about it?  What is the feeling (shame/annoyance/anger/fear/something else)?

[Turkish]

Mostly annoyance.  Definitely not fear or shame.

[AnuDay]

I agree with Panda's research minus the television part.  I believe that since you were not watching the tv and the fact that you needed a bigger one signifies something else in my opinion. 

Also if you are not dating anyone else right now I think Panda's interpretation may be off and it may just be that you still have feelings for your ex. 

[JNChell]

Panda39, like you, I don’t subscribe to the unconscious. We haven’t even grasped the conscious yet. Anyway, part of your post got me.

   
   
Re: Had A Dream, What Did It Mean?
« Reply #9 on: December 05, 2018, 07:30:05 AM »
Reply with quoteExcerpt
I pulled some things off of a Dream Interpretation Website... .No I don't take this stuff literally, however I do like to read sometimes because it gets me thinking about things and maybe in a way that I didn't initially.  Take it or leave it.

Television
To dream that you are watching television represents your mind and its flowing thoughts. The dream reflects how you are receiving, integrating, and expressing your ideas and thoughts. The programs you dream of watching are an objective view of the things that are in your mind.

To dream that you are on TV suggests that there is something that you want to broadcast to the whole world. You have the desire to express yourself. Alternatively, the dream means that you are trying to take a more objective view on your life issues. If you dream that the TV show is your reality, then it means that you are avoiding some responsibility.

To dream that the television is broken or that the picture is fuzzy suggests that you are looking at a problem all wrong. You need to re-evaluate an issue.

Room
To dream that you are in a room represents a particular aspect of yourself or a specific relationship.  Dreams about various rooms often relate to hidden areas of the conscious mind and different aspects of your personality. If the room is welcoming or comfortable, then it signifies opulence and satisfaction in life. If you dream of being in a dark or confined room, then it denotes that you feel trapped or repressed in a situation.

To dream that you find or discover a new room suggests that you are developing new strengths and taking on new roles. You are growing emotionally. Consider what you find in the discovered room as it may indicate repressed memories, fears, or rejected emotions. Alternatively, such rooms are symbolic of neglected skills or rejected potential.

Dreaming that you are building or adding a room means that you are experiencing a surge of energy and renewed confidence. You have a different outlook on life and are moving toward a new direction in life. Alternatively, to build a room in your dream is symbolic of an expansion to your family.

To dream that you are in an empty white room indicates a fresh start. It is like a blank canvas where you want to start life anew. Alternatively, the dream means that you are trying to isolate yourself. You do not want any outside influences.

Dreaming that you are in a dark room with no doors signify ignorance. You are isolating yourself. Alternatively, the dream means that you refuse to be influenced by outside forces.

To dream of a dirty or messing room refers to an aspect of yourself that you are ashamed of or are refusing to acknowledge.

To dream of a yellow room suggests that you need to use your mind. You are feeling stimulated mentally.

Cleaning
To dream that you are cleaning implies that you are removing some negativity in your life and overcoming major obstacles. You are moving ahead toward a new stage in your life. In particular, if you are cleaning your house, then it means that you need to clear out your thoughts and get rid of your old ways and habits. You are seeking self-improvement. Alternatively, the dream may be a metaphor that you need to "come clean" or tell the whole truth about some situation or matter.

To dream that you are cleaning an object represents an aspect of yourself that is not working or functioning as well as it should. If you are cleaning the refrigerator or oven, then it indicates that you are getting to root of a matter or situation. It may also indicate feeling so negativity and inferiority. You feel stuck in some area of your life.

To dream that you are cleaning out a desk suggests that you are getting rid of the burdens that has been weighing you down. You are acknowledging your new choices, decisions, and a new sense of freedom.

Ex
To dream about your ex-boyfriend/girlfriend or ex-husband/wife, that you and your ex are kissing/fighting or that you and your ex got back together again suggests that something or someone in your current life is bringing out similar feelings you felt during that relationship with your ex. The dream may be a way of alerting you to similar behavioral patterns in your current relationship. What you learn from that previous relationship may need to be applied to the present one so that you do no repeat the same mistakes. Alternatively, you may be reflecting on the positive experiences and good times that you shared with your past love. Dreams of getting back together with your ex or of your ex wanting to get back together with you may not necessarily be a reflection of reality. This dream may be triggered by some major change in your current relationship and how far you have come from those past relationships.

I started to have unsettling dreams about my parents while with my ex. My ex, on occasion, would wake me up to tell me that I was having a nightmare. She would often tell me that I was whimpering in my sleep. Since the split, I haven’t been having those nightmares. I find this to be very interesting.