Mirroring? It was all a lie after all

[Family Court Strategies: When Your Partner Has BPD OR NPD Traits.]

Yesterday i come across in a party with a friend in common with my ex uBPDgf (2 and a half months, replaced 3 days later i moved my things out).
He told me that he has seen her a couple times since the breakup and he is stunned that she is literally a different person.
Looks, slang, musical taste, drinks taste, interests, the way she types, clothes, makeup style.
My ex now has literally taken the identity of my replacement (low life trash).
I couldnt hold the line and i peeped her IG account and OH MY F GOD.
Literally theres no bit left of the person that i used to know. Creep me to the bones.
Obviously makes my mind clear "ahhhh thats how she liked almost everything i liked", and i dont have like "normal" taste of anything.
But she now has downgraded like hell.
Show it to my T, the old man started laughing and said to me "does this take you by sourprise?". When we brokeup, my T who has been 2 steps beyond told me "now she is desperate because you left her just days before she was gonna left you. Or she gets stoned every single day to cope the pain or she finds someone FAST, and if she finds it it will be most probably the opposite of you. She needs the opposite of you to get clean of all that you have done for her (order, responsability, committment, aim for better things, not to be a victim).
Does anybody saw some kind of extreme mirroring like this? In my case i dont think she has not even a little bit of Identity. Nothing. She is a white (or black) canvas.

[FJM]

Yesterday i come across in a party with a friend in common with my ex uBPDgf (2 and a half months, replaced 3 days later i moved my things out).
He told me that he has seen her a couple times since the breakup and he is stunned that she is literally a different person.
Looks, slang, musical taste, drinks taste, interests, the way she types, clothes, makeup style.
My ex now has literally taken the identity of my replacement (low life trash).
I couldnt hold the line and i peeped her IG account and OH MY F GOD.
Literally theres no bit left of the person that i used to know. Creep me to the bones.
Obviously makes my mind clear "ahhhh thats how she liked almost everything i liked", and i dont have like "normal" taste of anything.
But she now has downgraded like hell.
Show it to my T, the old man started laughing and said to me "does this take you by sourprise?". When we brokeup, my T who has been 2 steps beyond told me "now she is desperate because you left her just days before she was gonna left you. Or she gets stoned every single day to cope the pain or she finds someone FAST, and if she finds it it will be most probably the opposite of you. She needs the opposite of you to get clean of all that you have done for her (order, responsability, committment, aim for better things, not to be a victim).
Does anybody saw some kind of extreme mirroring like this? In my case i dont think she has not even a little bit of Identity. Nothing. She is a white (or black) canvas.

[Turkish]

That would be shocking.

When my ex found her beau ("The One"), it felt like living with a 15 year old.  She went out one night and left me with the kids, then 1 and 3. She returned at 4 AM. I was sick of her phoning out in as a mother.  I confronted her.  She told me she was glad that I told her that and she wouldn't do it again. It went from a peer relationship to Father-Daughter even more than it already was,  to my horror when I realized that.  

I was 41, she 31, and he 21, a college football jock.

She grew her hair long to look younger, even though now at 37, she looks at least 5 years younger than she is.

A few months after they married,  she chopped her hair short and dyed it blonde. I sensed something was up.  At lunch with the kids she told me,  "living together is hard." Ya think?  After over a year of teen romance and wilder sex reality hits?

Much drama ensued. She wasn't mirroring him any longer,  and curse her friends who encouraged her to leave me and "find her own happiness" as she later told me they did.  Eat, Pray, Love=BS.

I'm not perfect,  but in her words, "I have everything I ever wanted,  but I'm still unhappy!"

Mirroring was how she bonded,  and she took advantage of a horny,  narcissistic kid,  then she changed,  resulting in him being arrested once.  The One. She kept up the mirroring until they moved in together, and then it imploded.  

[FJM]

My goodness.
Mine used to tell me that she had been waiting for me for her whole life, that she drawed doodles of a man like me when she was younger. That she knew i was the one and will be forever together and make a family (6 months on the relationship).
She started to split me black when she started with the replacement (less than a week after breakup). Til then i was white.
Now she says he found her twin-soul.
Science Fiction s××t.
She looks crazier than ever. Mine dyes her hair every week, from blue, to red, to green, to all together. Guess who has his hair dyed in every color too? Replacement.

[Bnonymous]

Have you ever seen that Julia Roberts film Runaway Bride? This sounds really similar to that. The character takes on the identities of the men she's with and isn't sure of her own. There's a point where she confesses that she doesn't even know how she likes her eggs.

This reminds me of that.

[once removed]

Obviously makes my mind clear "ahhhh thats how she liked almost everything i liked", and i dont have like "normal" taste of anything.
But she now has downgraded like hell.
...
all that you have done for her (order, responsability, committment, aim for better things, not to be a victim).

do you think theres some pain behind this?

[FJM]

once removed I dont know if its pain no more. Its just my brain trying to process the whole story. Feels like i have all the answers i need. That i literally bleeded and gave my life for almost 3 years to a science fiction movie, to a person that doesnt exist no more.
I think that im still shocked maybe, but the gruesome pain is getting behind.
Theres no one to miss, cause that one doesnt exist no more. Weird but real.

[JNChell]

S4’s mom once told me that she had a dream where a baby boy was laying in a basket while she was picking vegetables from a garden. She wasn’t pregnant yet, but she was working on it.