Hi Jumpingjack! Welcome!
It's so difficult, isn't it? The emotional switchbacks are enough to give you whiplash. I went through that myself with my H. I'm so sorry you're having to deal with this.
So, how do things stand at the moment? You say two months ago she decided on the separation. Are you still in a holding pattern? Has there been any progress or more talk from her about moving to a new area or your moving out?
Also, just out of curiosity, are you or is she seeing a therapist? How's your support system? You say you don't talk to your family and you have a past of cutting off relationships with friends at her request. Has that continued?