Mother with undiagnosed BPD. What should I do?

[7syren7]

Hi everyone.

I'm a first time poster. I've been I'm the therapy for over 3 years now (and had been in for 5 as a teen)
I approached my therapist about the idea of my Mum having BPD about 2 years ago, and I think it's fair to say it's a safe bet.

My life has always been nothing but chaos with her and in our family.

She had always been diagnosed as bi polar, doesn't go to therapy, and gets no help at all so you can imagine how hard it is to have any sort of relationship.

My partner and I have been together for 7 years and he and his family have had it. Their love and want to protect me has culminated in them (and my friends) all wanting me to cut her out.

I've tired to forge a relationship on my terms with my Mum and it never worked and after a most recent blow up my partner and friends are putting their collective foot down.

While I appreciate what they're trying to so, they will not accept how hard cutting her out will be. She's relentless and the anxiety is killing me.

I wonder if anyone here has had a similar experience?

Thanks in advance...

[Harri]

Hi and welcome.  You definitely are in the right place to talk with people in similar situations.

I feel for you being torn between your mother and not wanting to cut her out and your partner and friends prompting you to do so.  Cutting contact of going NC (no contact) is a very difficult and personal decision and one that is not easy at all.   There are other options but it sounds like you feel you have tried everything like boundaries and limited contact?

What has happened that your partner and friends are putting their feet down? 

I hope to hear more from you and look forward to talking with you on the board.