30 + years, I see the future and I am not happy about it

[confused324]

I have been married for 29 1/2 years but together for over 30.  I am so done with the silent treatments and the never ever being happy or satisfied.  Our children are grown and moved out and I see the future and I am not happy about it.  He can go weeks without speaking to me and I don't even care that much anymore to try to snap him out of it.  I know now, after reading "Stop walking on eggshells" that he is 100% borderline... only problem is he will never admit it or seek help unless I decide to leave.  I have in the past and have been close to divorce but he said he acknowledges he has a problem and he promised it wouldn't happen again.  Guess what, we are 3 weeks into a silent treatment. I just don't know where my head is at right now.  I am afraid of what this will do to my grown kids. I guess I just need some help from others that may have been through the same thing.

[RELATIONSHIP PROBLEM SOLVING]

RELATIONSHIP PROBLEM SOLVING This is a high level discussion board for solving ongoing, day-to-day relationship conflicts. Members are welcomed to express frustration but must seek constructive solutions to problems. This is not a place for relationship "stay" or "leave" discussions. Please read the specific guidelines for this group.

[once removed]

hi confused324, and

you do sound exhausted. im glad you reached out.

what led up to the current round of silent treatment?

[Hart_Payne]

confused324,

I understand your dilemma. I too after reading Stop walking On Eggshells believe and see all the borderline problems in my wife. However to seek help or admitting to it without a videotaped session of her problem and/or family intervention and acknowledgement of the problem, HA, good luck. My silent treatment comes from the fact that things are not going to the BPD plan of thinking. I'm the problem and the only way out is for her is that I give in to her enabling or her running to her family enablers.

You are going to feel that way, like you don't know where to turn. The things is that you need something to occupy your mind during this time something that relaxes you. Whether it be meditation, music, drawing etc. Something that makes you laugh, can't tell you how many "The Simpsons" episode I've watched. You have to take to take care of you. Misery loves company. If you seem happier that might piss them off, BUT that stops the cycle I found. They'll try to say that you don't care because you're at ease and they're frustrated, but that's the insidious game of BPD mind.

[confused324]

hi confused324, and

you do sound exhausted. im glad you reached out.

what led up to the current round of silent treatment?

Driving I think, it was a while ago. He didn’t like how I was driving.