BPD and therapy

[beatup]

Hello to All,
    I have a question...
    Has your BPD person agreed to therapy with or without you?
    What was the result?

[No-One]

Hi Beatup:

uBPD Sibling: No therapy that I'm aware of.  Their position is: "Nothing wrong with me!"

Me: I went to therapy alone.  That's where I discovered that my sibling was exhibiting strong BPD traits.

Possible Joint Therapy?: I broached this subject with my therapist multiple times.  The last and final time I asked, she told me that she honestly didn't think I'd get the outcome I would hope for.  She said that she couldn't be the therapist, since she was seeing me.  Secondly, she shared an honest opinion from observing situations from another therapist in her office that sees couples.  She said it doesn't take long before  one person feel picked on and decides to quit participating.

I think it boils down to the fact that unless the person with BPD or strong traits can open up and  admit they are at least part of the problem, you can invest a lot of money with little benefit.

[beatup]

Thank u No-One,
    My therapist told me the same thing as yours did but I did try. ubpd sis set up appointment for us with her therapist & then sis bailed out just b4 appointment. I tried again a year later & sis agreed again then picked a fight with me just b4 appointment. I guess she never intended to go at all...just wanted to engage in some way.

[Turkish]

Therapy may or may not help reduce conflict, but a joint therapy rubric isn't going to "fix" either person's underlying personality traits,  especially those of a personality disorder. 

My mother forced me into family therapy when I was 13, thereafter abandoning me after one joint session where she jumped down my throat (from my point of view). If she had just sent me to therapy by myself rather than abandoning me, I would have resented her less.

30 years later, my ex did the same thing, though it was foreshadowed 4 years earlier when she tried to send me to a couples' communication class by myself. 

Projection has been my experience, as if I were 100% the problem. 

My mother is Dx: Depression, PTSD, Anxiety, and a hinted diagnosis of BPD (my mom told me she had it). My ex is Dx: Depression and Anxiety. Her BPD traits are my arm chair observations. 

Me? Cleared by the therapist when I was 13 (though my mom didn't tell me that until I was in my late 30s), and the couples' counselor,  a PschD, cleared me of anything other than temporary Anxiety. I spent over $10k on him.  He could have kept stringing me along, but at one point he basically asked me,  "why are you still here?"

[beatup]

Wow! It seems common that we spend our time & $$ on therapy. At least we come away with a better understanding.
Funny(?) that my ubpd sis admitted to a lie 30 yrs. later...similar to your Mom keeping info from you for 30 yrs.
thanks for your reply...it is helpful in my quest to "let go"