hello again
I met my SO a year ago or so.
in the first 3-4 months everything was in the "honey-moon" phase.
It even bothered me that the usual stuff women complain about and obssesive about, I didnt get that particular vibe from her.
after a 5-6 monthes living together under the same roof and managing shared life.
My way of living and making a living was pretty dangerous but she accompnied me on almost day-day basis.
at first it started with sexual abuse she was thru at a younger age ( including androphobia,crying after sexual acts and a'splitting' opinions most of the people that walks her y in the street)
then the impulsiveness came to the realtionship and we gone thru a month or 2 on hard drugs and very strong dependecy from her side (i learned afterwards that she was projecting her eating disorders on her drug abuse and hoping it will get better)
then we adopted a dog , a big dog that is living with me and my parents (I came back to my home and she gone back to living with her grandma), the dog is the result of her impulsivness because she never thinks about him when she starts to do planning with me \ moving to someplace else \ telling me that I should stay at her grandmas place with her , including the night when she cannot understand that the dog is a burden on my parents and i need to stay close to the home to help with the pet.
it basiclly went downhill after 5 -6 months of being together because she snapps out often, talking with angry faces and like keeping rage inside of her \ no matter what my attitude about the event. (Ie: everytime she has to pee lately i cannot reach her and make her smile, shes rude and agitated from everything surrounding her until she hasnt relieved herself, before the downhill part, everytime she had to go to the bathroom she started to talk alot and jumping from topics, idk why the change)
all the times we arguing over small details and it starts to be verbally abusive I'm standing there and trying to convince myself that everything is allright and not my fault like I'm being portreyed.
FYI - I had a childhood with me aunt and she was very very similar to my SO behaviour ( yelling at me, making me feel strongs guilt and then after a couple of minutes she would ask me if i want to go to MCDONALDS...)
excuse me for the horrible grammer and way of writing, it was on my way to work.
I'm really really hopeless because Im trying to convince her to go to therapy, she doesnt want to because she was in a long session when she was 16 15 and it didnt go well.
Thanks ahead!
