Hello, I’m new to the group. I’ve just realized that my girlfriend/ex-girlfriend (depending on the day) most likely has BPD. She is self -destructive in all relationships, breaks up with me and past partners in a loop, incoherent rage, desperate fear of abandonment, pushes me away, and then lashes out that I’m too distant. I’m constantly walking on egg shells etc...
About me: My mother has BPD and both couples and person counselors suspect my partner does as well. I use to have traits of BPD, but after 3 years of DBT/EMDR mixed with a dash of near death experiences, I’ve broke the patten internally and I do not have BPD.
About her: Extremely open to therapy. She has been in therapy for 6 years for various issues, but this has not come up in her sessions. She has (in my opinion) dissociative conclusions about her past. Unfortunately she is in grief counseling after losing her only friend 7 months ago.
My questions are:
1.) Would breaking the rules of “Stop Walking On Eggshells” and telling her what I think is going on be appropriate? We’re on :
: hiatus. This is the second time she has dumped me this year Learning the truth of my past set me free. We’ve been on and off for 7 years and we’re in our late 30s. Part of me thinks if I could get it out of my system, maybe she could too?
2.) Since I have been in chronic chaos, would dating someone new and moving on as fast as possible be appropriate? She already accuses me of abandoning her daily or does this make me a terrible person? I feel like BPD has consumed all of my life and I desperately want a fresh start. This of course validates the self fulfilling prophecy on her part. I feel very trapped.
