Unexpectedly positive marital counseling progress...

[misterblister]

(Those morbidly curious can dig up my prior posts about my uBPDw.)
As a last ditch effort in my almost 20 years of marriage that had become intolerably toxic, I found an E.F.T. counselor who has brought unexpected progress and hope. I do not believe it is just the counselor, but also contributing factors of maturity and changes related to us both approaching middle age.

We had tried MC before a few times with results ranging from disappointing to pathetic. This time it is remarkably different.

First, my wife is admitting to behaviors that I never imagined her recognizing, certainly not ones I could have ever made her aware of. This level of awareness from her is nothing I have witnessed before, and it is happening faster than I would have anticipated. I am certain many here can appreciate how profound that is to witness.

Second, I am recognizing how I have contributed to her feeling legitimately underappreciated and unloved regardless of any shade of BPD.

Somehow we are able to communicate this without panic or withdrawal.

An interesting part to all this is that I am not rushing to conclusions or opening my heart wide to childishly embrace it all as if everything were fixed. It is tempered and sober and patient.

I am sharing this because I wonder if others have met such unexpected hope. I have heard so many people say with sincerity that I need to move on and take care of myself--that I cannot fix what I did not cause--but to have so much progress so quickly and unexpectedly has me second-guessing my assumptions and instincts.

I guess I should stop questioning the sunshine and just enjoy it warming my face, without rushing into it and risk being burned, yes?

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[Stillhopeful4]

An interesting part to all this is that I am not rushing to conclusions or opening my heart wide to childishly embrace it all as if everything were fixed. It is tempered and sober and patient.

Hi MisterBlister,

That's great to hear you guys are now making progress!  This excerpt above...that's some hard work you have put in to get to this point.  Yay for you!   

Best of luck moving forward on your journey.  It's very inspiring to hear and give me hope for my situation.  Thank you for sharing!

SH4