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Before you can make things better, you have to stop making them worse... Have you considered that being critical, judgmental, or invalidating toward the other parent, no matter what she or he just did will only make matters worse? Someone has to be do something. This means finding the motivation to stop making things worse, learning how to interrupt your own negative responses, body language, facial expressions, voice tone, and learning how to inhibit your urges to do things that you later realize are contributing to the tensions.
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Author Topic: Part 3: How to break up  (Read 1319 times)
formflier
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Who in your life has "personality" issues: Romantic partner
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« Reply #30 on: October 15, 2019, 09:12:33 PM »

His refusal to begin couples therapy meant that he was less invested in our relationship than I was.

Yes...I would think that's a polite way to say it.

How much was your relationship worth to him?  How much were you offering to spend and asking him to spend (not a percentage..but best guess as dollar figure)

 Virtual hug (click to insert in post) Virtual hug (click to insert in post)

Best,

FF
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boogs152
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« Reply #31 on: October 15, 2019, 09:26:55 PM »

He would be required to spend $50 twice a month initially.
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boogs152
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« Reply #32 on: October 16, 2019, 04:42:57 PM »

He keeps asking me to take him back. Saying he will change. I feel so down.
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formflier
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« Reply #33 on: October 16, 2019, 05:40:45 PM »


"I'll discuss the future of our relationship in the last few weeks of your inpatient stay.  I'm sure your therapist there can guide us."

This puts the ball back in his court.

What are you saying when he asks you to take him back?

Best,

FF
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Cat Familiar
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« Reply #34 on: October 17, 2019, 09:13:12 PM »

Staff only This thread has reached its maximum length and is now locked. The conversation continues here: https://bpdfamily.com/message_board/index.php?topic=340212.0
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“The Four Agreements  1. Be impeccable with your word.  2. Don’t take anything personally.  3. Don’t make assumptions.  4. Always do your best. ”     ― Miguel Ruiz, The Four Agreements: A Practical Guide to Personal Freedom
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