How to deal with constant mood swings and unrealistic expectations

[Married + Alone]

Hello,

Just looking for support. I have been with my husband for 3 years just got married and have a little one on the way. He refuses to get therapist help and be on meds. We fight often and he expects me to be the one to get us "motivated". I also suffer from depression and anxiety and have PTSD towards air compressors, had an accident lost some teeth. Anyway when he expects me to take charge and then bashes me for not doing what he wants its so confusing then everything is my fault. I am usually pretty good at letting him know its not me but his problem with controlling everything and I work hard and leave him in the dust then he strays to other women for attention. How do I keep his attention and encourage him to do better in life when he doesn't listen. Or he listens for about 1 day then right back to it.

I need help and guidance on how to deal with him and his constant mood swings and unrealistic expectations of me and the world.

[RELATIONSHIP PROBLEM SOLVING]

RELATIONSHIP PROBLEM SOLVING This is a high level discussion board for solving ongoing, day-to-day relationship conflicts. Members are welcomed to express frustration but must seek constructive solutions to problems. This is not a place for relationship "stay" or "leave" discussions. Please read the specific guidelines for this group.

[Dnmtnbkr]

Hi M+A,

Welcome to the message board. You are in the right place for support. I'm fairly new here too and have found so much support and strength on this website. Look around for helpful links on dealing with pwBPD. Find the JADE and SET communication tools. They are a must know and have helped my relationship completely.

One of the things that is always encouraged for non's (that's us) is to take care of yourself. You have to be strong and in a good place to deal with a pwBPD. By doing things with friends, being passionate about a hobby, involving yourself in your purpose, will go a long way. The side effect is your partner seeing you being strong and taking care of yourself. This most likely will motivate him to improve himself.

Congrats on the baby on the way. There is some more motivation for you to take care of yourself.

You can always suggest that you both go to a marriage therapist. Or find one that does both marriage and individual counseling, but just you go at first and encourage him to join you sometime.

Keep posting and reading. We are all here for you.