I wish to re-contact my daughter/ I'm scared to death to contacting my daughter

[Parents! Get help here!]

I'm back on BPD family after 10 years.

I escaped 23 years of marriage to a borderline and have had a much better life since.  

Unfortunately my 23-year-old daughter has t.urned out to be a nightmare.

10 years ago when my daughter was little the school principal came to me and said that she had been complaining of abuse from her mother.  This helped me make my final decision to leave the BPD behind.      But since then I have come to learn that my daughter is a very very big consummate liar.   I don't know what to believe she says or doesn't say.

Two years ago, my daughter got arrested for public intoxication.   I bailed her out of jail and try to enforce some tough love.  After about four weeks I came home and she was gone.   I've had no contact with her in two years.   I hear incredible lies about who I am, and what I've done.

My daughter is toxic.  But she still my daughter, and things still happen the tear me up when I realize she's gone.

I'm trying to decide whether I should close the book on her Or whether I should try and reach out to her.    Reaching out to her has so many terrible ramifications:  And these ramifications are Not limited to my Self, but my new partner And her children and family.

Part of me says just walk away.   Just typing that sentence tears me up.  

[yoshitx]

I'm back on BPD family after 10 years.

I escaped 23 years of marriage to a borderline and have had a much better life since.  

Unfortunately my 23-year-old daughter has t.urned out to be a nightmare.

10 years ago when my daughter was little the school principal came to me and said that she had been complaining of abuse from her mother.  This helped me make my final decision to leave the BPD behind.      But since then I have come to learn that my daughter is a very very big consummate liar.   I don't know what to believe she says or doesn't say.

Two years ago, my daughter got arrested for public intoxication.   I bailed her out of jail and try to enforce some tough love.  After about four weeks I came home and she was gone.   I've had no contact with her in two years.   I hear incredible lies about who I am, and what I've done.

My daughter is toxic.  But she still my daughter, and things still happen the tear me up when I realize she's gone.

I'm trying to decide whether I should close the book on her Or whether I should try and reach out to her.    Reaching out to her has so many terrible ramifications:  And these ramifications are Not limited to my Self, but my new partner And her children and family.

Part of me says just walk away.   Just typing that sentence tears me up.  

Our objective is to better understand the struggles our child faces and to learn the skills to improve our relationship and provide a supportive environment and also improve on our own emotional responses, attitudes and effectiveness as a family leaders

[FaithHopeLove]

Welcome back yoPLEASE READx. I am glad you reached out to us and very sorry for what you are going through. Am I understanding you correctly that your daughter now lives elsewhere but you know how to contact her if you choose? I can understand your fears about contacting her and concerns if you don't. Is there maybe something in between such as limited contact? That way you could give yourself time to figure out where this relationship may go. How does that sound?