Best way to handle being devalued?

[commongarden]

I have been through the cycle of devaluing several times.  My significant other just disappears, usually for a couple of weeks.  It has been as long as a month. I feel like he does it because he gets overwhelmed, sometimes he is depressed, sometimes he thinks our relationship won't work because I will give up on him, etc.  What is the best way to handle being devalued?  I don't really want to reach out.  I want to give him space.  I don't know what to do.

Any advice would be helpful.

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[Ozzie101]

I'm sorry, commongarden. The silence, the distance, the rejection (whether real or perceived) -- so painful to deal with.

My advice? Post and read here. Fill up your knowledge bank on BPD so if/when he comes back, you are well-equipped to deal with anything.

But the main thing? Focus on you. Spend time with friends and family. Engage in hobbies. Do things you really enjoy that "fill your cup." Self-care is key, especially at times like this.

And you're right not to reach out. It's best to let him self-soothe and give him the space he wants and needs.

Hang in there!