She has been so dependent and doesn't do anything that shes instructed by her home care team and really doesn't seem like she wants to get any better by helping herself. She's just sitting there on her oxygen watching TV and doing nothing productive. I want her to do the things she needs to do so she can get her independence back and I won't feel as guilty when she doesn't need to be dependent on me for everything. I'm really in a rut.
This is my MIL 100%. My MIL is a diabetic. She has also been diagnosed with COPD, and while she does have breathing issues, I think COPD is a misdiagnosis. She used to be on oxygen, but hasn't needed it in a while.
Anyway, I used to drive myself insane trying to make sure she ate appropriately, was getting off the couch and moving a little bit, and even showering. Eventually, I realized I was just making her mad and in turn I was also making myself mad. I hate watching my MIL neglect her own well being, but I have come to realize that this is her choice. If there are consequences to her actions, or really to her inactions, they are hers to face and not mine or my husbands.
If her health eventually warrants more hands on care, we will bring in a home health aide, to meet those needs as we have learned that it cannot be us. In order to protect ourselves from abuse, this is the decision we have made.
