Hi Gibson56! Thank you for your response
Well it is hard to tell 1000% because I'm writing about an ex but I'm trying to take into account the entire picture. All of these events/signs have manifested over the last... 3 or 4 months (since late Jan/Feb) and have worsened as the weeks have gone on, before that she was completely different.
She has been very withdrawn, to the point where she has cut off most/all of her family members and friends and no longer speaks to them or is actively on bad terms with them. She has dropped out of Uni, quit working (she has always been in work from the age of 17), even changed her entire life goals which she has been working towards since a young age to wanting to just coast by working part time in a job she didn't really care about (this was her worst nightmare like, 6 months ago even). She has been drinking excessively to the point of being thrown out of clubs etc., binge eating and changing her diet completely (from previously having a decent diet to now just living off of junk food), self harming (which she started doing again the last few months when previously she hadn't done this for a good few years), persistent suicidal thoughts, making impulsive decisions (e.g. going to live with her BF of barely 4 months), even thinking completely different things were said to what they were, extreme mood changes (singing and dancing one minute then later that night not being able to stop crying and feeling hopeless and suicidal).
She did express to me in a conversation that she was finding things too overwhelming, her head was a mess and she was the most depressed and suicidal she had ever been in her life since about January time. But I tried to be there for her, as she has been through periods similar to this before and said things before such as finding it hard to cope and not wanting to be here, but honestly this time around feels and seems much worse. This time my gut is just telling me something isn't right, but my head is telling me that I'm just over-reacting. This time there's a lot of physical signs that something is wrong as opposed to her just withdrawing and expressing that she didn't want to be here.
I obviously want to help her in some way, if that's even possible, but right now we haven't spoken in about a week as she has decided to move to her new BF's and contact has stopped. I mean their entire relationship has moved incredibly fast, to be honest, but I assumed that because she had a lot of strong feelings for him and was pretty sure about being with him etc. Although she even told me that he is also very depressed and suicidal himself and often she has to 'help him' and play counsellor for him in that respect - which she mentioned to me that she 'couldn't deal with right now' one night.
Any advice what to do would be much appreciated - as I want to help and I don't want to see her get worse but I also don't know if I'm just interpreting a situation as being a crisis when in reality it's just her moving on, being content with him and reinventing herself. I'm fairly new to learning about bpd also so trying to get any information or advice as possible.
