Impossible

[Struggling19]

I'm having a lot of trouble with my wife, who I believe has BPD. We've been together for almost 12 years, with a brief four-month separation recently until I came back three months ago, and I feel insane a lot of time. It feels impossible. I'm not sure what else to day.

[RELATIONSHIP PROBLEM SOLVING]

RELATIONSHIP PROBLEM SOLVING This is a high level discussion board for solving ongoing, day-to-day relationship conflicts. Members are welcomed to express frustration but must seek constructive solutions to problems. This is not a place for relationship "stay" or "leave" discussions. Please read the specific guidelines for this group.

[ImmaNon]

My wife has BPD (undiagnosed) but I'm certain of it.  I try to remember not to internalize the rage and gaslighting. Not my circus, not my monkeys.  When my wife goes "offline" (dissociative behavior, ranting, rage texting, etc.) I go for a nice long walk with my dogs until she gets bored and moves on to something else.  This usually works in the short term to stop the abusive behavior. Things have gotten significantly worse because of the Covid lockdown, so I am waiting patiently for things to open back up.  When she is forced to keep herself together for work every day, the rate of her episodes should hopefully decline a little bit.  Good luck!