Where do I go from here

[Jersey Jenn]

Hi all...thanks for having me.

I'll start by telling you a little about myself I guess. I've been married to my BPD, who has not accepted a diagnosis...for 26 years. I've made excuses and enabled his behavior for years, until now.

Now I feel stuck! Where do I go? Who will believe me?

[RELATIONSHIP PROBLEM SOLVING]

RELATIONSHIP PROBLEM SOLVING This is a high level discussion board for solving ongoing, day-to-day relationship conflicts. Members are welcomed to express frustration but must seek constructive solutions to problems. This is not a place for relationship "stay" or "leave" discussions. Please read the specific guidelines for this group.

[Goosey]

   What level of daily drama is happening?  In my case the daily incidences where so intense the relationship blew up kind of by itself. I begged my wife to understand that I loved her and wanted to help. I was (and am) split “enemy” in her eyes.
   It is sad, scary and lonely. I do read a bit about the condition and read these posts and that helps.
   So what happens next? I guess it’s different for everyone to some extent. I sometimes think I want her back in my life. Even though she is involved with someone already. Then I remind myself although I am sad I am not being used  and abused every waking moment.
   My situation just seemed to disintegrate and I just filed for divorce most likely to protect what little I had left, and because deep down I knew the madness had to end.
   Yes it’s scary. Starting over with nothing. But I had nothing. She wiped us out. So everyday gets a small bit better.
   It’s really not up to me. It was up to her to get the help she needed. She choose to paint me as awful to all. I have had enough of that in my life.
   So I feel you pain. I do understand. Many do. You’ll make it thru.
  I spent so much time worrying about her and people would say she would be fine “but look at you! Your a walking zombie!”
  They where right. I’m sure her life is a spinning mess of lies and financial quagmires again but that’s how she rolls. Better to be sad then responsible for cleaning it up anymore.
   Breathe. And find a therapist to vent to. It’s amazing how I can talk to my therapist and go full circle to the obvious without much insight from him. It is what it is. Reality.

[pursuingJoy]

Jersey Jenn, just want to stop by to hello and welcome! We're glad you're here. I'd also love to know more about what daily life looks like for you. How do you feel you've enabled BPD behavior?

We're here to listen and be a sounding board, if that will help. If you feel like reading there are some great tools on this site - check out the "Tools" tab at the top of the page.

pj