BPD wife in nursing home

[Catmando]

Hello,I’ve been partnered for over 20 years with my wife who has BPD but for the last 3 years she’s been living in a nursing home due to physical and cognitive issues.Only recently has she acknowledged that she has BPD and I’ve been trying to educate myself on it. Due to COVID-19 she’s been quarantined since March and her abandonment issues have exacerbated.She calls or messages me constantly and when I do talk to her she just rages at me and blames me for putting her in the home even though she asked to stay originally.I know she is lonely and depressed but I just can’t stand being screamed at the moment I call to check on her.Our conversations always end in shouting and anger.

[RELATIONSHIP PROBLEM SOLVING]

RELATIONSHIP PROBLEM SOLVING This is a high level discussion board for solving ongoing, day-to-day relationship conflicts. Members are welcomed to express frustration but must seek constructive solutions to problems. This is not a place for relationship "stay" or "leave" discussions. Please read the specific guidelines for this group.

[zachira]

It is unbearable to be mistreated by anyone, and accused of not having their best interests at heart, when in fact you are doing everything you can to take care of your wife. Know that being mistreated by another person is never acceptable nor matter how unhappy that person is. You can hang up when she is screaming at you, and I understand that is uncomfortable. There are many members with family members with BPD with similar circumstances to yours, who will understand and support you. Keep us updated on how you are doing.