Not knowing what I was getting into as a naive man, I discarded all the symptoms that were being displayed when we started dating. A young early twenties gorgeous girl who is already divorced and with a child, who has lost custody to the father. The symptoms were mild at the beginning, I would find her in a depressed mode once in while, she goes all quiet and every word from her mouth would be soul piercing. I never really understood it for quiet a while, but after months passed I started following a pattern. By then, I have already seen tantrums that cause great discomfort- like breaking things in the house, storming out and driving dangerously, physical abuse (she can't really hurt me , I am much stronger than her I'm able to restrain her till she calms down ), my t-shirts being torn off my back, scratches and minor bruises on both parties. I started logging the pattern on my calendar and noticed that she exhibits an episode very 9 or 10 days , so I started setting up be cautious reminders on my phone and it worked perfectly. That is until I revealed it to her , she took it well and understood my situation BUT then the pattern changed the 8 days peaceful times shortened into 2-3 days , uncontrollable anger,self harm... followed . I feel exhausted. Every episode has its own pattern, she gets upset on simple things and starts to fuel it up, no matter how i react she responds in a negative way(I can see the hate in her eyes)--> tantrums --> physical confrontation --> self loathing and sadness --> you don't deserve this more crying --> passes out and has epileptic seizures --> wakes up and she is brand new all her love comes back, she regrets her actions and I start dreading the next episode. I am now absolutely sure she won't survive out in the world. After her divorce at 22 the path she took was alcohol and drug abuse followed by unprotected intercourse, now I have helped her stop all that but I fear I might start alcohol abuse myself.
