Any experiences w/successful treatment?

[alp1375]

My husband and I are currently in the middle of trying to find yet another treatment for our 16 year old daughter with BPD. We have tried multiple things over the past five years: therapists, DBT therapy while at home (no success), wilderness (some success), therapeutic boarding school (little to no success)... we are currently contemplating the intensive DBT program at McLean which seems to have some good results. I am just wondering if there are any parents on this board who could share positive experiences. I can relate to the exhaustion and frustration that parents experience dealing with a child with BPD day in and day out. I have grieved over the happy and confident child she was compared to the lost, depressed, insecure adolescent she is. I have mourned for the relationship I wanted to have with her versus the one I have. Some days I cry thinking it will be this way for the rest of her life. However, most days I still cling to the hope that she can get better. I realize BPD isn't "cured" and she will have to deal with this for the rest of her life, but it would be helpful for me to hear from parents who have seen positive changes in their children after receiving treatment (in whatever way worked).

Our objective is to better understand the struggles our child faces and to learn the skills to improve our relationship and provide a supportive environment and also improve on our own emotional responses, attitudes and effectiveness as a family leaders

[Swimmy55]

Welcome!
Long story short, my son was in a residential situation. Therapeutic hospital then group home .  I credit these with getting him through graduating both  High School and College.  He learned how to do laundry, basic hygiene, shaving, and the regimented schedules helped him tremendously. 
.    It didn't stick after he graduated college though, but it did give my son a boost through some years.  At the very least, he learned another way of living that was his for the choosing.  My regret is that we can't force adult children into residential. 

Most importantly , whether or not there was a positive change in my now adult son ( there isn't currently) there is a positive change in me.   Don't forget to take care of you on this journey , too.

[Sancho]

It seems as though you have tried many different approaches with some small success. If you can afford the intensive program and your daughter is willing to try, then perhaps it is worth trying?

Your daughter is just 16 and it seems as though you have been trying different things for a few years now. At 16 it can be hard to follow through on things once you are back in your day to day environment. But it could be that the bits and pieces she picks up from the different experiences will stand her in good stead in the future ie as she matures.

It is heartbreaking to journey with your loved daughter through these dark times, and you can easily forget to nurture yourself and keep yourself from being drawn into her world - which in the end will not be helpful to her.

Stay well and care for yourself - at the very least you will model for her the importance of doing this.