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How to communicate after a contentious divorce... Following a contentious divorce and custody battle, there are often high emotion and tensions between the parents. Research shows that constant and chronic conflict between the parents negatively impacts the children. The children sense their parents anxiety in their voice, their body language and their parents behavior. Here are some suggestions from Dean Stacer on how to avoid conflict.
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Author Topic: How do I get away?  (Read 465 times)
Worndown55
Fewer than 3 Posts
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What is your sexual orientation: Straight
Who in your life has "personality" issues: Ex-romantic partner
Relationship status: Broken up
Posts: 1


« on: February 01, 2021, 07:20:44 AM »

I left my live in bf 5 months ago after 7 years of lying, cheating, manipulating, controlling, mental abuse. He won’t leave me alone. He owes me a lot of money that I know I won’t get back and we share custody of a dog. The dog prefers me so he lives with me but in afraid my ex will take him back if I make him mad. So the ex is still controlling me with the dog. He also makes threats to tell private things to my children and family.
He calls me crying and shows up at my house all the time, he also drives by my house to see if I have company. I don’t know what to do.
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khibomsis
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Gender: Female
What is your sexual orientation: Gay, lesb
Who in your life has "personality" issues: Parent
Relationship status: Grieving
Posts: 784


« Reply #1 on: February 02, 2021, 04:01:17 AM »

Dear Worndown,  Welcome new member (click to insert in post) and welcome to the family! I am so sorry to read what you are going through! Don't worry, many (like myself) have come to this site broken, and found comfort here.
How do you you envisage the future with this ex? Do you still wish some amicable relationship with him or would you be happier if you never saw him again? If the latter,   a restraining order should keep him away.

Is he the legal owner of the dog? Why would his threat to remove the dog be valid?

Threatening to invade the privacy of your family is pretty abusive. Again, a restraining order can include them as well.

Should you wish to retain the chance of some friendliness at a later stage, this book is really helpful in giving tips on how to navigate stormy emotional waters:  Splitting: Protecting yourself While Divorcing a Borderline or a Narcissist William A. ("Bill") Eddy  Although it is written for those who legally have to divorce it contains many helpful tips.
Keep posting, and let us know how we can help.
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