Dear Worndown,
and welcome to the family! I am so sorry to read what you are going through! Don't worry, many (like myself) have come to this site broken, and found comfort here.
How do you you envisage the future with this ex? Do you still wish some amicable relationship with him or would you be happier if you never saw him again? If the latter, a restraining order should keep him away.
Is he the legal owner of the dog? Why would his threat to remove the dog be valid?
Threatening to invade the privacy of your family is pretty abusive. Again, a restraining order can include them as well.
Should you wish to retain the chance of some friendliness at a later stage, this book is really helpful in giving tips on how to navigate stormy emotional waters:
Splitting: Protecting yourself While Divorcing a Borderline or a Narcissist William A. ("Bill") Eddy Although it is written for those who legally have to divorce it contains many helpful tips.
Keep posting, and let us know how we can help.
