the short version, i think, is that the idea that someone wants us to push through the walls theyve put up and win them over is more fantasy than reality.
people can be hard to reach, and hard to break through to, but they dont block us at every avenue with the hopes that we will keep trying.
to the extent that i might be wrong, i have certainly known of people who were being pursued and got a kick out of it (validation). thats not really a position that puts anyone in the most attractive light.
I’ve seen some things online from bpd sufferers that claim when this happens they want you to push even more.
a lot of people threaten a break up, or go through with a break up as a means of sending a message, or to get their way. ive done it myself. it may be true, that in that case, a person is looking for a certain kind of response. when that happens, its good to reflect (not react) on what that reasoning might be.
