Should I text my BPDex and try to reconnect?

[Family Court Strategies: When Your Partner Has BPD OR NPD Traits.]

Hello everyone,

I’ve been broken up and no contact with my BPDex for about 2 months now. I’m spiraling right now and what not. I’m filled with panic, feelings of desperation, yearning, loneliness, regret. I’m the one who broke up with her, but I am torn on that decision every single day.

I’ve been inhaling information about BPD, whether it’s personal testimony’s, medical journals, or YouTube videos. What should I do? Would a no holds barred, from the heart message likely show her how much I cared and still care for her? I feel like I’m losing my mind.

Deep Blue

[Deep Blue]

Hello everyone,

I’ve been broken up and no contact with my BPDex for about 2 months now. I’m spiraling right now and what not. I’m filled with panic, feelings of desperation, yearning, loneliness, regret. I’m the one who broke up with her, but I am torn on that decision every single day.

I’ve been inhaling information about BPD, whether it’s personal testimony’s, medical journals, or YouTube videos. What should I do? Would a no holds barred, from the heart message likely show her how much I cared and still care for her? I feel like I’m losing my mind.

Deep Blue

[poppy2]

Hi deep blue,

My advice would be to understand what kind of attachment style your ex had - avoidant, anxious, or disorganized. Then that would dictate would kind of message you should send - no holds barred would work for some people, but it might not work for others.

Good luck
Poppy

[SinisterComplex]

Hello everyone,

I’ve been broken up and no contact with my BPDex for about 2 months now. I’m spiraling right now and what not. I’m filled with panic, feelings of desperation, yearning, loneliness, regret. I’m the one who broke up with her, but I am torn on that decision every single day.

I’ve been inhaling information about BPD, whether it’s personal testimony’s, medical journals, or YouTube videos. What should I do? Would a no holds barred, from the heart message likely show her how much I cared and still care for her? I feel like I’m losing my mind.

Deep Blue

Deep Blue you are bound and determined to go against the grain. So do as you see fit. However, use common sense. You have immersed yourself in plenty of information and you are on a path to healing right now. Do you want to start all over and jeopardize that and literally make things even worse?

You are too vulnerable right now and anything you send right now comes from a place of weakness and desperation. You would just be fluffing her ego.

You broke it off. It was a wise decision. Why would you willingly entertain that kind of chaos back into your life? That is unhealthy. Perhaps you need to focus on yourself and figure out what it is that is keeping you tied to her.

I will support you one way or the other because you need help and besides no one can tell you what to do. You are responsible for your own choices and decisions.

I just wish you the best of luck.

Cheers and best wishes!

-SC-

[once removed]

You are too vulnerable right now and anything you send right now comes from a place of weakness and desperation.

one rule ive taught myself, through kicking myself time after time, is never act on anxiety.

a psychological trick ive also taught myself is to tell yourself "not now, but later". you can contact her any time you want to. now is not that time. you may still want to later, you may not, but its a lot harder to talk yourself out of contacting her at all than to simply postpone it until a better time.