End is near…but not yet. Need help for next 3 days.

[Family Court Strategies: When Your Partner Has BPD OR NPD Traits.]

Stomach in knots and starting to get paranoid.

10 years with a SOwBPD relationship…the last 2 months have been game changing for me. I’m growing a lot of courage. I’m gaining clarity.This happened because SOwBPD started working again and is gone for stretches of time. This time has given me so much growth for myself. Every time she comes back for a break, I’m getting stronger- and she notices. the abuse has become worse, so have the prolific apologies.

Christmas was a disaster. But when she left for work I was relieved. She is back for New Years- and is home for 4 days. She promised not to fight. But I can see her anger…like a pressure cooker. She yelled this morning and slammed doors when I was leaving for work. I was very calm and I left.
She called me an hour ago. I’m at work and I texted saying I can call back in 15 min. She responded with “no.”
I called her back but her phone is switched off.
Paranoid that she is wrecking the house, or getting drunk, or stewing…ready to let me have it when I reach home.

I am getting ready to end it all, but I still need to put some things in place. I’m making an exit strategy, but I don’t want to do it without properly preparing. The  last two visits, I’ve been hit and had things thrown at me. I was afraid to call police.
Now I have two friends who know about my situation…I have code words in case I need help.

I feel like the end is near…maybe in a month or so…but I need to get through these next 3 days. I’ll be off work.

How do I get through the next 3 days?

[Letloverule]

Stomach in knots and starting to get paranoid.

10 years with a SOwBPD relationship…the last 2 months have been game changing for me. I’m growing a lot of courage. I’m gaining clarity.This happened because SOwBPD started working again and is gone for stretches of time. This time has given me so much growth for myself. Every time she comes back for a break, I’m getting stronger- and she notices. the abuse has become worse, so have the prolific apologies.

Christmas was a disaster. But when she left for work I was relieved. She is back for New Years- and is home for 4 days. She promised not to fight. But I can see her anger…like a pressure cooker. She yelled this morning and slammed doors when I was leaving for work. I was very calm and I left.
She called me an hour ago. I’m at work and I texted saying I can call back in 15 min. She responded with “no.”
I called her back but her phone is switched off.
Paranoid that she is wrecking the house, or getting drunk, or stewing…ready to let me have it when I reach home.

I am getting ready to end it all, but I still need to put some things in place. I’m making an exit strategy, but I don’t want to do it without properly preparing. The  last two visits, I’ve been hit and had things thrown at me. I was afraid to call police.
Now I have two friends who know about my situation…I have code words in case I need help.

I feel like the end is near…maybe in a month or so…but I need to get through these next 3 days. I’ll be off work.

How do I get through the next 3 days?

[Rev]

Hey there ...

Here's a trick ...

3 days - 72 hours ... map out a list of worries. What of those worries actually have the potential to materialize?

Within those - what's the least and worst outcome?

How do you best invest those 72 hours to mitigate the risk of "damage". Include time to recharge your batteries.

Treat it like a crisis intervention plan. The 3 days will fly by.

Thoughts?

Rev

[Mutt]

Christmas was a disaster. But when she left for work I was relieved. She is back for New Years- and is home for 4 days.

Im sorry to hear that you’re holidays were really stressful - I can relate with your post. Holidays and time off felt like I was walking on eggshells - pwBPD cannot cope with stress very well.

She promised not to fight. But I can see her anger…like a pressure cooker. She yelled this morning and slammed doors when I was leaving for work. I was very calm and I left.

As you probably already know a pwBPD can’t self sooth and the misdirected anger is a way for them to sooth.

The  last two visits, I’ve been hit and had things thrown at me. I was afraid to call police.

Im sorry that you’re going through this. That’s very brave of you to share what’s going on. Do you feel safe right now?

I understand that you have a plan in place and you might already be aware that we have a guide - just in case that you don’t have it I’ll share the guide with you here:

SAFETY FIRST DOMESTIC VIOLENCE SAFTY PLAN