My adult child with BPD

[Natural]

My daughter is 39 and about to have her first child. Once again she and I are in the cycle of her blaming and attacking me. Her father and I divorced when she was 4. She has, understandably so, abandonment issues and is quick to blame me for everything. I am SO worn out emotionally for being on this rollercoaster of ups (somewhat ups, but really just waiting for the "next time") and many downs (the attacks, name calling, blame, etc.). I am not perfect by any means, but I know I am not responsible for her emotionally... as they say in Al Anon... I didn't cause it, I can't control it, and I can't cure it (I went to Al Anon for years because of her)... I am at a loss of what to do and need support. That's why I have joined this group.

Our objective is to better understand the struggles our child faces and to learn the skills to improve our relationship and provide a supportive environment and also improve on our own emotional responses, attitudes and effectiveness as a family leaders

[Tulipps]

Welcome, Natural. Sounds like you’ve done your best and now you’re in a good place with plenty of support available. I’ve 100% been where you are and have benefited from the resources available on this site. While presenting experiences may be similar within the BPD Family community, there are different approaches shared and discussed. As with Al Anon – take what you need and leave the rest! Be well. 

Ps  Courage to Change is always handy on my desk.

T

[Natural]

Thank you T. Please inform me how this forum works. I post and wait for others to answer? How do I see the threads of this conversation and other conversations?

[Tulipps]

Hi again -
I think you'll quickly notice there are more "reads" than "replies" to posts. Not everyone engages and those who do engage, sometimes take a while. Like at a meeting... some don't feel comfortable sharing. 
In any event, there is a lot to read and I'm confident you'll find information you can relate to.
I typically start with the forum topic "Son, Daughter or Son/Daughter In-law with BPD" (https://bpdfamily.com/message_board/index.php?board=4.0) and read through posts and replies. Some are more relevant than others.
I wish you well.

[Natural]

Yes, I noticed that. Thank you so much for your help and encouragement.