Concerned about stbex selfharming

[Beware of Junk Psychology...]

So I haven't seen my wife Since May.  Just disappeared one day.  Found out some of what happened through a restraining order that she filed.  I chose not to contest it having no idea what was going on at a point.  I'm trying to start the divorce process Which is a little tricky because no one knows where she is.  

I and everyone else in my circle agree If she does reach back out and wants to come back, We would agree to assist If she agrees to intensive therapy But i'm not looking to continue the relationship.  

However, This seems Like a pretty severe splitting episode And I am worried that she's going to end up Committing self harm Tru.  I am considering reaching out to a friend of her's That I think might be Speaking to her With the soul Goal of Trying to tell his friend that I and My therapist Strongly suspect quiet borderline And I'm concerned for her physical safety.

I would have to Clear it with the lawyer To make sure I don't Violate the restraining order And i gain absolutely nothing But I feel a strong moral obligation to try to at least Make an attempt Because I don't know If I could live with myself If she turns up dead or something And I didn't at least try To do something.

Looking back The self harm and the suicidal ideations is the one thing That she never expressed to me But We had a miraculously stable relationship For just over a decade And she's never had an episode like this during that time

Does anyone care to comment?

[chinchilla_dad]

So I haven't seen my wife Since May.  Just disappeared one day.  Found out some of what happened through a restraining order that she filed.  I chose not to contest it having no idea what was going on at a point.  I'm trying to start the divorce process Which is a little tricky because no one knows where she is.  

I and everyone else in my circle agree If she does reach back out and wants to come back, We would agree to assist If she agrees to intensive therapy But i'm not looking to continue the relationship.  

However, This seems Like a pretty severe splitting episode And I am worried that she's going to end up Committing self harm Tru.  I am considering reaching out to a friend of her's That I think might be Speaking to her With the soul Goal of Trying to tell his friend that I and My therapist Strongly suspect quiet borderline And I'm concerned for her physical safety.

I would have to Clear it with the lawyer To make sure I don't Violate the restraining order And i gain absolutely nothing But I feel a strong moral obligation to try to at least Make an attempt Because I don't know If I could live with myself If she turns up dead or something And I didn't at least try To do something.

Looking back The self harm and the suicidal ideations is the one thing That she never expressed to me But We had a miraculously stable relationship For just over a decade And she's never had an episode like this during that time

Does anyone care to comment?

[SinisterComplex]

I think plenty on here care, but do not know how to comment to be fair. My take on it. I understand how strongly you feel and your moral obligation comes from a proper place, but it isn't your place to do something. You have to focus on you. There is nothing you can do. It is not in your control or power. You have to release yourself from that tie binding you down in your own mind. You can lead a horse to water, but you cannot make it drink. What do I mean by that? Let go of the outcomes in your mind. You are putting pressure on yourself by thinking that you have the power and control to dictate outcomes or that you can change things. No, you can only change outcomes that pertain to you individually. Nothing more, nothing less.

The bottom line is that this situation sucks no matter how you look at it. I truly and sincerely wish you the best, but I want to make sure that you heed my advice and focus on taking care of you. That cannot slack off ok.

Cheers and best wishes!

-SC-

[chinchilla_dad]

Ironically just got some New information Yesterday.  It appearsIt took herAbout four monthsTo leave me Move in with her NPD mother (Whom she had split out of her life for a number of years), Split her again, Moved in with some guy she just met Who already has A young daughter, Died her hair, Got matching tattoos About eternal love, And is wearing an engagement ring. 

And I am not shocked at all.

[SinisterComplex]

Ironically just got some New information Yesterday.  It appearsIt took herAbout four monthsTo leave me Move in with her NPD mother (Whom she had split out of her life for a number of years), Split her again, Moved in with some guy she just met Who already has A young daughter, Died her hair, Got matching tattoos About eternal love, And is wearing an engagement ring. 

And I am not shocked at all.

Then it should provide some solace and kind of give you the ok to let yourself off the hook. It's not great news, but it is better than the alternative you were thinking about.

Wish you the best moving forward.

Cheers and best wishes!

-SC-