sarcasm or just joking but not funny

[Phoenix123]

I finally have a safe place to see if this is normal.  My husband can be sarcastic or thinks he is being funny. One of his favorite things these days is to answer No to a question then answer the question with a positive.  example Me- Did my package come? No, (He waits a few seconds) your package came this afternoon.  Part of me thinks he is trying to be funny and part of me goes on high alert. What do I do with this? I can't seem to let it go.  Its small but does bother me. As a family we are always trying to tell his mood and when he gives mixed messages it messes with me at least.

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[keepitup]

Hello Phoenix 123,

I get that it is not an easy situation to live. I can't say if this is "normal", but I have been through something similar with my boyfriend who has bpd.

He used to say sarcastic things that were sometimes hurtful to me. I think he did it to get a reaction out of me. I finally found out that replying something sarcastic has been the best way to not enter in a spiral of emotions. Since he doesn't make me react anymore, he is doing it less and less these days.

At other times, I realized that his sarcasm was a way to vent one of his insecurities. In these cases, I tend to react by being down to earth and answer in a truthful way. I try to read between the lines to tell what is going on.

Finally, at other times, I think he is trying to be funny though it never works. I usually just ignore his remarks in that case and then he sometimes realizes by himself that he was not funny.

In the end, I think sarcasm can come from different causes and the best way to deal with it depends on where it comes from.