Have I made the right decision?

[FijiGirl]

Hello,

My husband of 23 years (we lived together for 4.5 years before marrying) was diagnosed with BPD only a few years ago. Despite having seen various therapists over 20 years . Most visible symptom is alcohol abuse. This impacted him, me and our (now) 18-year old twins.

In October 2020, he started an affair. After a brief separation, I took him back as I felt that I hadn't done enough to understand his mental health state. He promised to end the affair. Late December 2021, I found out the affair was still on. He moved out in early Feb.

I know I can't live my life trying to be his saviour. He is still abusing alcohol and I'm worried this will kill him. The girlfriend (who doesn't live with him) is still in his life. Fortunately, our twins live in another country and haven't witnessed (physically) the demise of their parents' relationship.

Any words of advice would be appreciated.